Kerri On Down The Road

Surrender.  For so many years when I saw that word all I could picture was a tiny white flag meekly raised signalling a giving in, giving over, or giving up.  I felt that entwined with the idea of surrender was loss and acknowledgement of failure.  What I have started to realize and internalize is the beauty that comes with surrender.  How the act of letting go is actually based in strength, not weakness.  How it takes strength to let go and be comfortable with the unknown.  To float and trust that you are being supported and brought to where you need to be, when you need to be there.   And as lovely as this all sounds on paper, I will admit the first time I actually considered surrendering I felt scared.  Actually releasing the hold I had on outcomes was frightening.  Until I realize that I really had never HAD control of outcomes.  I may have believed that I did and that by choking the reins I was holding onto that, but in reality...

Every night before I go to bed, I enjoy a cup of Yogi "Restful Sleep" tea.  I love the flavour and relaxation that comes with this routine and also the fact that on the tea tag there is a little saying or thought, which reminds me of a fortune in a fortune cookie.  The other night, the tag read "Accept Who You Are Now, But Acknowledge Who You Wish To Become".  I read it a few times and each time I did I felt a deep pang of resonance.  In fact I ended up using that thought or idea to kick off the yoga class that I taught for my final weekend of training. I decided that I would re-word the sentiment a bit, and change it to " Celebrate Who You Are Now, And Acknowledge Who You Wish To Become".  The updated version really hit home for me, as it summed up something that I have struggled with as I have moved through my life.  Perhaps it just comes down to semantics and how certain words land with us.  In the original sentence I felt like accepting who you are...

 Last weekend marked a very important and personal milestone in my life.  I graduated from my 200-hour yoga teacher training as a certified yoga teacher.  For the past two and a half months we met online and as a group, or kula, we explored, learned, shared and grew as we embarked on the journey of yoga.  I had been someone who practiced yoga on and off over the years, but until this point had never really understood just how deep and vast the practice of yoga could be.   In the time that passed between our training weekends I found myself feeling a mix of emotions, and experiencing a swirl of thoughts and ideas.  There was definitely a lot taking place below the surface, building on work that I had been doing on myself leading up to this point in my life.  It felt like a much deeper exploration of who I am, where I have been and more importantly where I want to go.  What my true dharma or life's work is that I am meant to pursue and the real...

In a yoga session I was moved by a meditation that we were guided through.  It focused on the sun and how the sun shines everyday.  Some people worship the sun, some hide from it.  Regardless of the reaction, the sun always shines and does not alter that in accordance to what anyone thinks of it.  Steady in its knowledge that it is meant to shine it continues to do so and will continue to day in and day out. Let's take this idea into our lives and our daily functioning.  We all have inner lights.  There are some people who are described as "lighting up a room" when they enter.  There are others who seem to have a dark cloud that hangs over their head and follows them wherever they go.  Sadly these inner lights seem to have dimmer switches attached to them, and we use these to control our brightness based upon the situation that we are in and the potential reaction that we think we may receive.  More often than not, turning down our brightness...

 I have recently started to go out for a weekly stand-up paddle board session, usually at sunrise on Monday mornings.  This was something that appealed to me for many reasons - something new to try, a very peaceful way to start a week and also why not?  I feel more comfortable in and around the water than I ever have and also knew I would have a life jacket on, so really other than getting wet, the risks are relatively low. This past week our morning session was cancelled and instead I went with my sons on a weekday night.  My eldest paddled with me and my youngest hung out on the beach waiting for post-activity treats.  Despite my enjoyment of paddling, I do find that I get a bit nervous before we start and even leading up to the session I feel a slight pang of apprehension building.  Once I am on the water it all goes away, which I am grateful for, and I can settle in and enjoy the feeling of cruising around the lake.   During the morning sessio...