Kerri On Down The Road

On a recent walk I was listening to Deepak Chopra discussing spiritual solutions to life's most difficult problems.  Someone asked him about rules to live by and he stated "I use memories but I do not allow memories to use me."  I literally stopped in my tracks and took note of it in my phone.   Fast forward a week and the depth of that sentiment really hit home. At the end of a morning ride this week my cycling partner and I were chatting and at one point in our conversation he looked at me and said "you know, you put yourself down a lot."  We both are fans of self-deprecating humour and liberally sprinkle it throughout our conversations, so for him to mention this to me in all seriousness really surprised me.  I am sure that I joked my way out of the discomfort of his observation in the moment, but it stuck with me.  It wasn't until a day or so later while out walking that I put two and two together. The negative comments and jokes that I have been m...

 I saw a post on Instagram from P!nk today with the caption "I always wondered why God gave me thunder thighs.  It's cause he knew I'd use them."  And it was posted beneath a picture of her crushing it on a wake board.  I loved seeing this as it really helped to reinforce something that I had read in the book I referenced last week by Jen Hatmaker.  In her book she mentioned that we would be a lot less prone to body negativity if we referred to our bodies as "she" instead of "it".  When I read that passage, I stopped and paused for a beat and let the words sink in.  And then realized that yes, I absolutely was guilty as charged on that.  I cannot actually count on my hands, feet and all of my other appendages the number of negative thoughts that I have expressed about my body over the years.  Sometimes kept to an inner dialogue, sometimes voiced out loud, the put downs, sarcastic "jokes"  and negative comments have been numerous.  A...

I just finished reading an excellent book by Jen Hatmaker called Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire:  The Guide to Being Glorious You .  I had heard her interviewed on Bren é  Brown's Unlocking Us podcast and knew that this book was something I needed to read.  In it she walks through areas of our lives where we can all likely shine some light and make some tweaks.  There were many chapters where I could put some energy to finish work that I have started in my life, however the one chapter that really stuck out for me was in regards to the relationships that we have with other women in our lives.   Growing up, I was always a tomboy and I suppose I still am today.  I tended to have guy friends and girl friends, but always felt like the relationships I had with the guys were the easier ones to manage.  They just happened...no drama and needing to second-guess or worry about what I had said or done, or how I had said it or done it.  This tende...

"I'm glad that you found your wheels again."  Out of context that phrase would not mean a heck of a lot to many people.  But hearing that this morning really resonated with me and sums up many of the conversations and feelings that I have had lately. Taking a year off of cycling to sort myself out was so very necessary and almost felt like a recovery year.  It provided the time and space I needed in order to really go into those dark corners that I had been avoiding and to unpack what I found there.  I feel like without that time I would not have been able to move myself forward to where I am today and would not have been ready to throw a leg over the top tube quite yet. I feel very fortunate that riding a bike truly is just like riding a bike, and being able (and needing) to ride solo for the first few months this season was a perfect way to dip my toe back into it.  There were a lot of memories and emotions that I needed to pedal through and those solo rides w...

Lately I have been feeling like I am finally taking charge of my life.  Not that I had been floating around and meandering up until now.  It has been more a sense of coming into myself I suppose, and not being afraid to make choices based on my needs and wants, and not what I think others may expect of me. It sounds like common sense, of course you should live your life for you and pursue those things that will bring you joy and a sense of purpose.  But oftentimes those decisions feel like the very ones that will put you on the other side from what you believe others may expect from you.  As much as I have looked up to those who walk the talk and differentiate themselves by their direction and decisions and ability to follow their hearts, secretly I have been afraid to demonstrate the same bravery in my own life. I have had moments when I have gone out on a limb and tried something new, or pursued a goal that has been on my radar, where I swear I have heard voices....