Kerri On Down The Road

 I remember when my sons were much younger and were experiencing the trials and tribulations of learning to ride a bike.  Fortunately for them, push bikes appeared in the Western marketplace.  Instead of learning through dependence upon rickety training wheels, they could practice balancing while scooting around at their leisure.  Before we knew it, they were zooming around and seemed ready to transition to a bike with pedals and brakes.  Although they had shown proficiency on their push bikes, knowing when to move to a "pedal bike" was tricky.  What was harder was knowing when to let go of their seat to allow them to be fully independent and in charge of their own destiny.  Holding on for too long would slow down their progress while letting go before they were ready would lead to heartache (and many bandages). I feel like this same thinking has been showing up in other areas of my life recently.  The delicate dance of holding on and letting go c...

This week marked another full moon and the start of a new energy cycle.  For those of us who feel so inclined, there is often a desire to tap into this energy by letting go of things that are not serving us.  These intentions to move on by letting go can sometimes feel easy to conjure up, but sometimes can be more difficult to articulate.  While letting go of heavy burdens is quite freeing, there are times in our lives when we might not feel this need quite so deeply.  Perhaps we have done the work we need to do and are in a period of integration or recalibration.  And maybe letting go is not always what will be of the highest service to us. Lately I have been wondering about this and have started to think more about what I usually focus on when I want to shed weight.  What I have started to realize is that I am often more intent on shedding parts of myself that feel like they aren't serving me, almost like a snake sloughing off its outer layer as it contin...

Weight training is an interesting pursuit.  It requires us to push our limits both physically and mentally to extend past these limitations.  It also requires us to recognize and acknowledge our areas of weakness as focal points for growth over time.  Quite a humbling and unnerving practice -- appreciating that no matter how strong we may feel overall, there inevitably will be times and places in our bodies where we lack the strength we thought (or wished) we had.  I believe this is why I am so drawn to this sport. There is something about the sense of uncertainty as you push for that one last lift or rep when you have no idea if you will even get close, and knowing that even a partial completion lays the foundation for your next set or workout.  This same principle holds in other areas of life as well.  Thinking about moments when you make that one hard choice or decision, and maybe are partially successful at holding a boundary or exercising your honest d...

 The first week of September marks a time of fresh starts, new beginnings, and a return to routine. It was no different for me this year—last week brought with it a return to school and a return to something that had not been on my radar: a return to the gym.   My history of working out has spanned a few decades now. It has taken many different formats over the years, from traditional gyms, to community centres, and to my basement or bedroom.  I have always enjoyed the strength that came with lifting weights and the ability to work on loosening the grip of old narratives around my lack of athleticism.  I often felt a pang of frustration though, at never quite getting the results I dreamed of (Linda Hamilton's arms in the Terminator movie) and eventually moving away from it due to competing interests and priorities.  Lately, I began to notice an undeniable pull back towards weights and feeling intrigued about what bringing this practice back into my life cou...

When I think of the word "acceptance" my mind immediately moves towards negative or difficult scenarios in my life - acceptance of things not going as I had hoped, acceptance of needing to put more work in towards a goal, acceptance of what I see when I look in the mirror.  While I believe that working towards equanimity is an important ingredient in a fulfilled life, I also wonder why acceptance sometimes feels like waving a white flag. Looking back at my life, I can clearly see how my discomfort with acceptance has led me towards burnout and exhaustion.  Faced with the choice to accept things as they are or push as hard as I can to try and change the trajectory, I often have opted for door number two.  Sometimes this choice has led me to breakthroughs and has brought me successes that felt good in the moment.  Other times, not so much.  And those wins have often been short-lived, as the energy required to maintain them or the outcome has simply not been sustai...