Kerri On Down The Road

 The other day, walking home from my favourite coffee shop, I noticed a bird lying in the grass.  Its body was nestled into the cool, green grass and its dark wings were spread out as far as they would go.  I stopped and watched as it continued to absorb the sun's warmth, unaffected by the busyness of the other birds that surrounded it.  After a few moments, it tucked its wings back in and started to hop about, returning to more typical bird-like behaviour.  I smiled as I continued on my way, feeling like I had witnessed something special.   The more that I reflected on this sunbathing bird, the more I thought about the assumptions and impressions of nature we hold versus the truth or reality that exists.  The narratives that we believe because they have been given to us and reinforced, regardless of how accurate they are. A few days later, as part of a final assignment in my psychology course, we were all given a personality test to complete....

 In the time since I stepped away from my career to focus on obtaining my degree, I have been witness to ongoing shifts in my understanding of who I am.  They have often been tiny and easy to overlook, but the feelings that accompany them are not.  The fact that it has only been three months since I made this overhaul surprises me because I have a hard time believing that the Kerri of the past existed at all.  She feels so far removed from where I find myself these days.  It is that realization that has led me to make other changes in areas of my life. I am overjoyed to be working on a part-time basis at a non-alcoholic bottle shop in an eclectic area of town.  Before each shift, I look forward to being surrounded by the positive vibes and energy of the shop and feeling like I am furthering education and empowerment for those who are in search of an alternative to alcohol.  I remarked the other day that working was fun - and quickly realized how long i...

 When I made the decision to retire/take a sabbatical/leave work temporarily, I also made a conscious decision to work on my tendency to plan too far ahead.  This was not easy and is still an ongoing work in progress.  I find that I am better able to catch myself in the act of planning and slow my mind down, but I am also aware that I will likely never be able to completely let go of this tendency. The reason I wanted to stop with all of the future-gazing is because I didn't want to miss out on the here and now that I was experiencing.  I wanted to make sure that while I was taking this time to grow, I was able to truly enjoy the process.  The transition from working in a full-time career to becoming a student was strange to navigate and took a few weeks before I felt like I had any semblance of a routine or rhythm to my days.  Slowly but surely, I did find myself falling into a familiar and comfortable way of spending my days that felt both rewarding and r...

Lately, I've been thinking about the phrase "it's complicated".  So often used to describe moments or situations in our lives that seem out of joint or alignment or are just "off" for reasons that are usually hard to pinpoint.  What is this phrase actually telling us about our situation, and what, if anything, can we do about it? Thinking back over my life, especially the more recent years, there have been numerous times when "it's complicated" accurately described how I was living.  Stretched in many directions, trying to juggle competing priorities, and facing the discomfort of stress and dis-ease that came with the territory.  Despite the innate knowledge that something was amiss, I was reluctant to admit or assess my situation through the eyes of someone ready to make a change.  Instead, I did my best to continue the charade of handling it all and if anyone asked how I was doing, I would simply nod and exclaim "great!"  It WAS com...

 I will be the first to tell you that change is inevitable, whether or not you are ready or interested.  Sometimes, we are the driving force behind the change we experience.   Other times it seems to sneak up when we least expect it.  Either way, it can often be uncomfortable and unwelcome, throwing our neatly arranged things into disarray and making us evaluate and put everything back into some type of order.  There are some times, however, when this is not the case.  When change is a welcome and somewhat unexpected intruder, bringing hope and opportunity along with momentary chaos. Lately, I have been feeling like I am standing on the edge of the second type of change.  A welcome and unexpected one that will bring new choices and challenges my way.  It feels exciting and mysterious, and a little bit unnerving as well.  Change is something I tend to welcome, or at least find comfort in, but it also makes me feel impatient at times....