It's Not Easy Being Grey...
For as long as I can remember, I have been a person who has seen things as black or white, right or wrong, good or bad. It has been a struggle for me to sit in the middle ground, that grey area between the two extremes, as spending time there felt uncomfortable and often felt like I was taking a position of weakness. The indecision or lack of definition of the grey areas felt weak because there was no real decision being made, it was like giving up and being nowhere in my stance or beliefs. (Having said all of that, it is not like I am never indecisive...I can be very indecisive at times - just ask me where I would like to go for dinner or what I would like to do. Being someone who likes to please others, I find myself often answering a question with a question instead of making a decision. Work in progress...)
What I am starting to notice and appreciate is the value of sitting in the grey areas sometimes. Instead of being a place of weakness, I am realizing that it actually can be a position of strength. By becoming still in the moment and sitting in the middle, you allow yourself to evaluate and make decisions based on information instead of reactions. It removes that feeling of being forced into a corner and needing to choose an outcome or direction right away. This has been a very important lesson for me as I do tend to be a reactive person, finding comfort in making big snap decisions and embracing change almost too quickly sometimes. I am not sure if it is the feeling of momentum or thrill of taking on something new or fear of stagnating that has been the driver for this over the years...perhaps a combination of all three. No matter what the motivation, it is a pattern that I have seen repeat and although it often has spurred me on to achievement, it has not come without its fair share of upheaval and discomfort that might not have been necessary had I taken some time to really be still and present.
Allowing yourself time to sit in the grey also means living with discomfort for a time, as this creates room to reflect and does require that you dig into some corners that you may have wanted to ignore or gloss over. When speaking with friends about this practice we have often referred to it as "unpacking the boxes in the attic", and thinking about this both metaphorically and realistically, we know how much work can go into those types of pursuits. Disturbing things that have been boxed up over time can be scary - when you open those boxes it is uncertain what you are going to find there and then have to deal with. Yet another reason to be comfortable with stillness in thought, and understanding that there is no decision that has to be made regardless of what you find when you start to unpack things. Sometimes just the practice of taking inventory from time to time is enough.
I am finding more time available lately to sit in some grey areas, and do some work there that I didn't realize still existed. When I used to have these moments I would face them as a necessary evil, something that I knew I needed to do but did not really relish the thought. What I am discovering is that the more time I spend in the uncertain places, the less uncomfortable it is. These plateaus are usually the fuel for the next upswing. We need to take time to recover, refuel and reflect before we can move ahead and the grey areas provide just that.
Rush has a famous lyric that I think sums up this mindset and helps me to feel more at ease with this practice "If you choose not to decide, You still have made a choice" Allowing yourself to let go of the need to have an answer right away will bring you closer to where you need to be. Explore the grey, learn to enjoy not knowing right away, and let your inner voice and gut instincts help guide you on your path. Trust yourself to know what your truth is and where your path is leading.
What I am starting to notice and appreciate is the value of sitting in the grey areas sometimes. Instead of being a place of weakness, I am realizing that it actually can be a position of strength. By becoming still in the moment and sitting in the middle, you allow yourself to evaluate and make decisions based on information instead of reactions. It removes that feeling of being forced into a corner and needing to choose an outcome or direction right away. This has been a very important lesson for me as I do tend to be a reactive person, finding comfort in making big snap decisions and embracing change almost too quickly sometimes. I am not sure if it is the feeling of momentum or thrill of taking on something new or fear of stagnating that has been the driver for this over the years...perhaps a combination of all three. No matter what the motivation, it is a pattern that I have seen repeat and although it often has spurred me on to achievement, it has not come without its fair share of upheaval and discomfort that might not have been necessary had I taken some time to really be still and present.
Allowing yourself time to sit in the grey also means living with discomfort for a time, as this creates room to reflect and does require that you dig into some corners that you may have wanted to ignore or gloss over. When speaking with friends about this practice we have often referred to it as "unpacking the boxes in the attic", and thinking about this both metaphorically and realistically, we know how much work can go into those types of pursuits. Disturbing things that have been boxed up over time can be scary - when you open those boxes it is uncertain what you are going to find there and then have to deal with. Yet another reason to be comfortable with stillness in thought, and understanding that there is no decision that has to be made regardless of what you find when you start to unpack things. Sometimes just the practice of taking inventory from time to time is enough.
I am finding more time available lately to sit in some grey areas, and do some work there that I didn't realize still existed. When I used to have these moments I would face them as a necessary evil, something that I knew I needed to do but did not really relish the thought. What I am discovering is that the more time I spend in the uncertain places, the less uncomfortable it is. These plateaus are usually the fuel for the next upswing. We need to take time to recover, refuel and reflect before we can move ahead and the grey areas provide just that.
Rush has a famous lyric that I think sums up this mindset and helps me to feel more at ease with this practice "If you choose not to decide, You still have made a choice" Allowing yourself to let go of the need to have an answer right away will bring you closer to where you need to be. Explore the grey, learn to enjoy not knowing right away, and let your inner voice and gut instincts help guide you on your path. Trust yourself to know what your truth is and where your path is leading.
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