Connections, Disconnections and Reconnections
I have had a shell of this post sitting in my drafts for a couple of weeks now. I had started to put some thoughts together around it, but was not feeling like it was quite "ready" to be written. Reflecting on this past weekend I realized that not only was it time to write this post, my entire weekend was all about this post!
When I first started to put some thought to this idea, I pictured operators at telephone switchboards, plugging and unplugging phone lines - connecting, disconnecting and reconnecting people. The requirement for physical distance that we have been living with for the past few months has caused many of us to feel a sense of lost connection with others in our lives. It has also provided an opportunity to gain perspective on what is truly important to us, and to realize what we were holding onto that might not be so critical anymore. A chance to deepen those relationships that do provide meaning and to move on from ones that we may have been maintaining out of habit.
As I moved through the weekend, I found myself encountering people and revisiting places that have made impacts on me at different times in my life. All of these moments were unplanned and took me by surprise and brought joy and a chance to revisit some pivotal times in my life. A couple who were regulars in my CycleFit class at the Y were walking their dog as I came out to give my bike a quick wash outside of my apartment. They happen to live up the street from me, as I discovered, and had I not been outside at that moment I would never have seen them. Was so nice to be reminded of the community at the Y and how much of a positive impact that has been for me. Later in the day I went for a walk and ran into my friend who had been my personal trainer twenty years ago. We haven't seen each other person in a long time and by fluke just happened to be on the same bridge at the same time. Again, seeing her reminded me of the many hours spent working out together, and the hard work and discipline that was required to train and compete in a fitness competition back then. It really marks in my mind when my love of physical activity and taking on new challenges became an integral part of my life and continues on to this day. Early into my bike ride on Sunday I crossed paths with a couple who I had met through the bike club I was riding with and who I had not seen in person in quite some time. Again, a chance meeting that happened out of the blue. Seeing them (and safely riding at a distance with them) was such a great reminder of all of the fun times I have had while on my bike, the incredible group of friends that cycling introduced into my life and how grateful I am that I took the step to start pursuing cycling as a serious hobby many years ago.
When I reflected on these encounters, it seemed like an interesting pattern was at play...as I went through the weekend, and followed my inner voice around what to do, when to do it and which direction to head in, I was given these gifts of reconnection. And the best part was that there was no planning, forcing or trying to make it happen, it just all unfolded and all I had to do was be present, listen and follow my instincts.
Saturday morning I took part in an online yoga and meditation practice that centred on the intention of taking back our power. I loved the message and during the practice there was a thought that really shook me and resonated as well. It had to do with letting go of the stories that we have been given by others in our lives. Those negative and repeating stories that we hold onto and then live out based on input from others around who we are and more importantly, where our faults lie. The message I took from this was that in order to take our power back, we really do need to let go of these false stories and of the versions of ourselves that we carry in order to please others. It takes so much energy to walk around with these false layers and expectations that do not truly represent who we know ourselves to be. And I think that I am ready to go for it. To disconnect from these old stories that have played over and over in my life, through patterns of behaviour that no longer serve me on the path that I want to walk down. Instead the story of my life will play out in the sweet and mysterious way that it needs to. And for once, in the role of Kerri will be....Kerri. The genuine and real version of me that has been wanting to come out for some time now. Not the one who has tried so hard to fit into boxes, molds and expectations. The one who is slowly but surely finding herself, her voice and who is becoming more and more comfortable in the skin she's in. And when it comes to reconnections, she is the one that I have been looking forward to reconnecting with the most.
When I first started to put some thought to this idea, I pictured operators at telephone switchboards, plugging and unplugging phone lines - connecting, disconnecting and reconnecting people. The requirement for physical distance that we have been living with for the past few months has caused many of us to feel a sense of lost connection with others in our lives. It has also provided an opportunity to gain perspective on what is truly important to us, and to realize what we were holding onto that might not be so critical anymore. A chance to deepen those relationships that do provide meaning and to move on from ones that we may have been maintaining out of habit.
As I moved through the weekend, I found myself encountering people and revisiting places that have made impacts on me at different times in my life. All of these moments were unplanned and took me by surprise and brought joy and a chance to revisit some pivotal times in my life. A couple who were regulars in my CycleFit class at the Y were walking their dog as I came out to give my bike a quick wash outside of my apartment. They happen to live up the street from me, as I discovered, and had I not been outside at that moment I would never have seen them. Was so nice to be reminded of the community at the Y and how much of a positive impact that has been for me. Later in the day I went for a walk and ran into my friend who had been my personal trainer twenty years ago. We haven't seen each other person in a long time and by fluke just happened to be on the same bridge at the same time. Again, seeing her reminded me of the many hours spent working out together, and the hard work and discipline that was required to train and compete in a fitness competition back then. It really marks in my mind when my love of physical activity and taking on new challenges became an integral part of my life and continues on to this day. Early into my bike ride on Sunday I crossed paths with a couple who I had met through the bike club I was riding with and who I had not seen in person in quite some time. Again, a chance meeting that happened out of the blue. Seeing them (and safely riding at a distance with them) was such a great reminder of all of the fun times I have had while on my bike, the incredible group of friends that cycling introduced into my life and how grateful I am that I took the step to start pursuing cycling as a serious hobby many years ago.
When I reflected on these encounters, it seemed like an interesting pattern was at play...as I went through the weekend, and followed my inner voice around what to do, when to do it and which direction to head in, I was given these gifts of reconnection. And the best part was that there was no planning, forcing or trying to make it happen, it just all unfolded and all I had to do was be present, listen and follow my instincts.
Saturday morning I took part in an online yoga and meditation practice that centred on the intention of taking back our power. I loved the message and during the practice there was a thought that really shook me and resonated as well. It had to do with letting go of the stories that we have been given by others in our lives. Those negative and repeating stories that we hold onto and then live out based on input from others around who we are and more importantly, where our faults lie. The message I took from this was that in order to take our power back, we really do need to let go of these false stories and of the versions of ourselves that we carry in order to please others. It takes so much energy to walk around with these false layers and expectations that do not truly represent who we know ourselves to be. And I think that I am ready to go for it. To disconnect from these old stories that have played over and over in my life, through patterns of behaviour that no longer serve me on the path that I want to walk down. Instead the story of my life will play out in the sweet and mysterious way that it needs to. And for once, in the role of Kerri will be....Kerri. The genuine and real version of me that has been wanting to come out for some time now. Not the one who has tried so hard to fit into boxes, molds and expectations. The one who is slowly but surely finding herself, her voice and who is becoming more and more comfortable in the skin she's in. And when it comes to reconnections, she is the one that I have been looking forward to reconnecting with the most.
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