I Surrender

I have taken part in a thirty-day at home yoga program online all centred on the idea of finding your true self.  I am not sure if the yoga or the centring thought was what drew me in.  Either way, it has been nothing short of fantastic.  Each daily practice seemed to unearth a different thought or idea that was not only timely but also helped to illuminate parts of this journey that I had not yet considered. 
Something about being on the mat every day, allowing your body and mind to be in the moment and to accept what you are bringing with you in that time is quite powerful.

One of today's final thoughts was around surrendering, and allowing yourself to surrender.  This can be physically at the end of a practice or workout, just allowing your body to soak up all of the work that it has done and to also allow your mind to take it in and celebrate it.  Where this struck me was in the other areas of my life, off of the mat.  The act of finally surrendering to just being...being in the moment, being present, and being authentically myself.  I have been realizing more and more lately how much and how often I have lived my life in the hopes of pleasing others, or with that as my focus.  Not feeling brave enough to be myself for fear of rejection or ridicule.  Looking to find a way to be a little bit me while not stepping over boundaries that I felt existed to ensure that I was not too much. 

So I have decided that I surrender.  And for the first time, surrendering has nothing to do with waving a white flag.  In fact, it is just the opposite.  I feel like waving a very colourful flag and doing a happy dance.  Because this surrender is actually a victory.  For me it's finally winning a battle against fear and against perceived judgement.  Finally living life in a way that is authentic and open and with the understanding that I am not for everyone, and that is okay.  I do not need to be all things to all people.  What I do want to be is the most authentic and genuine person I can be for the people who I love and cherish in my life.  Victory is mine!

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