Finding Clarity When the Crystal Ball is Hazy

Ever wish you could google your life, or consult a crystal ball to see how things are going to turn out?  I would be lying if I said no to either of those possibilities.  All too often we are faced with making choices or decisions not knowing what the outcome will be as a result.  I have struggled for many years with being a decisive decision-maker in my personal life - ask me for a decision at work on a project or plan or next step and I am likely able to answer in a timely and confident way.  Ask me what I want to eat for dinner or something equally trivial and in come the hems and haws and circular thinking patterns.

This indecisiveness has frustrated me in the past, as it feels so weak and wishy washy and counter to all of the work I have done on being more sure of who I am and what I am looking to accomplish in my life.  I have found that especially in the past year, I have become more comfortable with the unknowns, as it seems that the only certainty we have these days IS uncertainty.  And that is okay.  Actually it is better than okay.  I feel like this certainty is starting to help me in my decision-making process as it is taking the pressure of making the "right" choice off of the table entirely.  The choices you make today based upon the information you have access to is not necessarily going to reflect where things lay as time moves forward.  Learning to be comfortable with that type of foggy view is a new skill I feel that we are all honing as the current situation continues.

What I am starting to focus on is the process by which I am finding clarity around the here and now part of the process, the part where I can determine where I stand based upon the information I have and am sure of. Taking those pieces of the puzzle in hand, I can then make a clearer decision and feel comfortable without being too hung up on what the future outcome may actually be.  For me this clarity comes in two ways - movement and stillness.  

When my body is in motion or actively engaged, my mind is able to ramble as well, and threads start to pull apart from the knots of thought in my mind.  These untangled thoughts are free to roam and knock around, and are sometimes cast aside, sometimes filed away for future reference or other times brought to the front and centre to be further examined.  I often find myself in the company of a thought partner while I am working things out.  These are the people in my life who I find myself on walks or bike rides with.  In motion, in conversation and in harmony.  We may be discussing clothing and clouds, food and favourite books, or really hard things, but whatever the topics may be, there is fluidity of thought and it all seems to lead to the beginnings of clarity.  Enter stillness.

Once I have ideas or thoughts that feel like they carry potential, I sit with them for awhile.  That timing is loose and without pressure of a deadline.  I find that reading or taking part in other reflective and quiet activities helps me to process what has been brought forward, most often without my even noticing.  It is not until an a-ha moment or sudden sense of calm after a time of unrest that I realize that I am where I need to be in regards to moving forward.  

What I am enjoying about this process is the fact that no matter what I end up choosing or deciding, I have no idea where it will lead me.  Despite this uncertainty I feel an underlying sense of due diligence has taken place and it is enough to make me feel at peace with what I have landed upon.  Taking the time to listen to the cues that are provided and to also take in the wisdom of those around me has been instrumental in being able to navigate through these foggy times and my hope is that in sharing this you may also find a way to illuminate your path on the road ahead.

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