Strength in Stillness

 I woke up this morning to a light rain that turned into a thunderstorm.  As plans of getting an early morning run in started to fade, I felt a mix of anxiousness and relief.  Anxiety at not being able to follow the plan to get that run in and relief in the knowledge that I really could use a rest day to replenish and give myself a moment or two to feel refreshed.

It is a practice, not a perfect, for me to come to these realizations as the underlying fear of losing fitness is something that I am often facing. Especially when I start to notice that I have become stronger or my performance in one of my chosen hobbies has improved.  There is an underlying drive to continue to push as "this is IT" my chance to really get somewhere....but where is that exactly?  I was talking with my friends just this weekend about how our perception of accomplishments becomes quite distorted over time.  Take cycling for example, a short ride for us is often something that people are surprised at,  meanwhile we may be feeling a sense of not doing enough and will downplay the ride entirely.  Like it didn't count because we didn't go far enough, or suffer enough, or whatever else enough in order for it to feel like it was real.  

This morning as I rolled out my yoga mat and worked through my daily practice, I allowed my body to dictate what it needed, which included some modifications from what I normally do.  I just felt like I needed to listen instead of push, even on the mat.  What I realized was how much strength it actually takes to be still.  How much effort is required to allow yourself to just be where you are and instead of making excuses for it, to meet yourself there with an open heart and mind. 

The strength that is cultivated through stillness is a different type of strength from what is gained through sets and reps.  To quiet your mind and allow yourself to be nurtured without judgement is really hard, harder than it sounds.  Because as soon as you become still the thoughts start to flood in.  And the doubts and often negative voices.  I have found it so much easier to stay busy, numb through activity, so these voices and emotions have no time to settle in.  

Flexing the muscle of stillness will continue to be a practice for me, and one that I know will build a type of strength that will surpass any other I have tried to achieve.

Comments

  1. rackleOctober 4, 2021 at 10:13 PM

    "To... allow yourself to be nurtured without judgement is really hard..." - the crux of so much...

    ReplyDelete

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