Seasons Change

 I went for a walk the other morning, despite the grey and rainy weather, determined to get outside and some movement.  As I walked I listened to an audio book and the chapter I was on was discussing how we often see our lives as battles to be fought, to be won or lost, to focus on making gains and not suffering setbacks.

The author then began to describe how nature flows, through each season and the many layers that each contains.  I found it particularly fascinating when he spoke to autumn, how we often can get caught up in a sense of melancholy about the onset of winter despite all of the beauty and colour that surrounds us during this season.  How so much of the vibrant life of summer starts to fall away and we can also focus on that sense of loss and of things ending.  What he then said is what caught my attention - despite the fact that we are noticing a shedding of life there is also another activity taking place that we may not be as aware of.  The spreading of seeds for the next cycle of growth.  These seeds are being spread far and wide and almost haphazardly, all with the intention of allowing those seeds to find a place to land where they will rest through the winter only to germinate and grow come the spring.

I really loved this idea of the promise of new growth coming during a time when all seems to be ending.  When we are feeling like a chapter is closing there is often something new looking for a place to land and take root.  What would happen if instead of seeing a door close in front of us, we were able to turn around and look at all we have surrounding us already?  Much easier said than done, I will be the first to admit.

As I walked I started to notice the first green shoots coming up through the still cold earth.  Brave and bold these tiny miracles pushing their way into the world, despite the fact that they could encounter snow, or other adverse conditions.  Determined to make themselves seen and to bring with them that sense of hope that spring seems to usher in.  It made me start to think about my life and to wonder about the seeds that might be waiting to germinate as a new season comes around.  It filled me with a sense of wonder at the many things that are taking place all around us, often without us even being aware.  This sense of awareness is what I realized I am lacking at times.  It is so easy to become fixated on an idea, a goal, a desire and even when you believe that you are doing so from a place of presence, to slowly fall into the trap of seeing everything as needing one outcome in order to bring joy or success.  

So where has all of this led me?  I feel a renewed desire to widen my lens and take more of my life in.  I want to be able to notice the little things, which are often not so little when we look back at them.  I want to allow the seasons to flow and to find the beauty and wonder in each.  To accept and embrace the endings and beginnings as a necessary part of growth and to honour the entire cycle.  Most importantly to allow doors to close that need to close and to trust and believe that these closures are really just detours and are also part of the bigger picture.