Learning to Appreciate a Paradox

 I feel like the first time I heard the term paradox was while listening to Brene Brown.  She was discussing how much she struggled with paradoxes in her life, and it intrigued me to know more.  I am always fascinated when someone I look up to or consider a role model has a struggle of their own.  Isn't it interesting how we so easily forget the fact that we are all human and as such we will all have work to do in our lives, no matter how far we may have come?  (perhaps food for thought for another post...)

As she described what she meant by paradox, I understood partially and went along with my day.  It has only been recently when this idea of holding contradicting beliefs has started to mean something to me.  A paradox is defined as "a statement that seems to go against common sense but may still be true".  For someone who has wrestled with very black and white thinking for much of her life, this whole idea of having two opposing beliefs that are both true is mind-boggling.  I have often found safety or comfort in the belief that things are either this way or that way, that there is a right and a wrong, that we can only choose one thing over another.  From the outside, it looks like decisions are clear-cut and simple - just make a choice one way or the other.  From the inside, it can lead to a LOT of indecisiveness because by making a clear-cut choice you need to really believe in what you are choosing.  Speaking from the I, I have had many moments in my life where my choices weren't so clear and I wasn't feeling a deep draw towards one outcome over another, resulting in analysis paralysis.  

Invite in a paradox.  Open up a space where things can be this, and that.  Where there could be a positive and a perceived negative and they could both be acceptable outcomes.  For example, not reaching a goal and still feeling a sense of accomplishment.  Remaining open-hearted even when you are broken-hearted.  Feeling disappointed by someone you love deeply.  Feeling fear and bravery.  When we allow ourselves to feel and acknowledge ALL of the emotions and sensations that come with a situation we are in, we are allowing ourselves to be so much more present and aware of what we are experiencing.  Instead of placing blinders on or ignoring the parts that might not be quite what we hoped or expected, we are allowing ourselves to learn that there are good parts of bad days and bad parts of good days.  Love can sting sometimes and that is okay.  We are allowing ourselves to open up and live more fully and with colours that extend outside of the lines.