Where to Now?

 "The only constant in life is change"

The first time I heard those words I remember pausing to consider their meaning and then slowly nodding my head in agreement.  In the years since, it has amazed me how that theory is put to the test and proved time and time again.  It sometimes feels like I have no sooner met a goal or hit a milestone when that sense of something about to change starts to percolate again.  Sometimes it is a welcome feeling, like the eager anticipation that comes at the start of a trip or vacation somewhere you have never been before.  And sometimes it is accompanied by a deep breath and that sense of needing to buckle up because things are going to become a bit unsteady for the next while.

There are definitely times when I do not feel like taking that next step quite yet.  I feel like I have just arrived where I thought i was meant to be and would like to settle in, even for a little while, before needing to pack up again and move on.  Sometimes I also wish that my map or guidebook was a bit bigger so I would be aware of these added destinations or stops along the way to where I am REALLY meant to be. 

Recently I was reminded of a lesson from my yoga teacher training about change and self growth and the uncertainty that naturally accompanies both.  This place of knowing and unknowing is referred to The Fertile Void.  This is that grey precipice that we often find ourselves in just prior to moving forward into a time of change.  I picture it like a cave or dark passageway where it is dark, dank and poorly lit.  You need to feel your way around instead of clearly seeing where you are going.  And despite that sense of uncertainty there is also a knowledge of being on the right path that persists.  It is not necessarily a comfortable place to be because it requires a deep trust and belief that we often do not possess.  We need to believe that no matter what we have been taught to think about ourselves we are not only capable of but are meant for greatness.  This can be a very hard belief to internalize and I think is what often stops us in our tracks and causes us to take a step back from this place.

What would happen if we took that deep breath and just allowed ourselves to dream and believe, even just for a moment or two?  What if at some point every day we stopped, became still and allowed our hearts to dream and sat with that energy of fertile possibility?  Could we eventually change our own minds and allow ourselves to take those next steps into this void?  And what would lie on the other side?  I will admit that the thought is both scary and exciting and also feels like something worth exploring.