Valuing Effort Over Outcome

This is a hard one for me to wrap my head around, and yet it is something that I know I need to work on.  Learning to value the effort that is put into an action versus the outcome of that effort.  Where did I even arrive at this notion?  A conversation with a friend on the weekend discussing school and running and things I am taking on where I know I need to let go of being hung up on outcomes, but have also been unsure about how to do so.

The advice he gave me really made me stop and think - put the emphasis on the effort that you place on working towards the goal that you have and value that over the final outcome.  I found this interesting because it is the complete opposite of what I naturally am drawn to do.  I tend to be someone who decides to work towards a goal and then all of my focus is put towards that goal.  The work and hard effort that is invested in moving towards the goal seems to be diminished over time by the growing importance of the end result.  

Case in point, training for a couple of running races I have this spring.  I have been embarking on marathon training to prepare for the races, and as the distances grow I have found myself starting to wonder about how I will do at the events.  Will I be competitive with past times I have held for these distances?  Will this new training plan have me ready to go on the big days?  What will it mean if I don't meet the internal expectations that I have set for myself?  All of these questions are valid and honest ones - I would be lying to myself and everyone around me if I denied that I have time goals in mind.  What these questions and this focus does not do, however, is put any emphasis or place any value on the many kilometers that I am putting in to prepare for these events.  It is like I have been shrugging off the actual work in favour of worrying about outcomes that are going to be somewhat out of my control.  Sure I can prepare and put in the training, but the day of the event can bring with it many unknowns that could change the trajectory of the race regardless of what I have done leading up to it.  Does that mean that all of these training runs were for naught?  That my hard work means less because the outcome is not what I had hoped for or was working towards?  I will be honest, it has felt like that in the past and is not what I want to have happen in the future.

School is another area where I have felt this same type of mismatch.  Worrying about grades and averages over the fact that I am working towards earning a designation that I never thought I would ever hold.  Wow.  Even as I type this I can see just how out of joint that thinking is and I also feel grateful for having had the conversation that I had today.  

So now the fun part, rewriting a narrative that I have held for a long time - outcomes are what count and the assumption is that if you are going to succeed you will need to work hard.  I still do agree with that, in part.  Needing to put in the work in order to succeed feels like a logical cause and effect type of statement.  And I am not one to shy away from hard work or working hard.  Where I find my trouble lies is in actually appreciating the fact that I am doing the hard work and feeling a sense of pride in that.  Where do I go from here?  Taking a step back to look at what I am working towards and more importantly to look at the work that is going into these goals.  Acknowledging that the work is not easy and deserves as much if not more appreciation than the actual goal itself.  Learning to value my time and my ability to do the work and learning to let go (even a little bit) of the shiny medal at the finish line.   

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Solar Return Reflections

 As I embark on a new solar return, I am compelled to reflect on the year that is closing behind me. Exercises like these often have us remembering the big wins or struggles, the notable changes and shifts that have taken place, the happenings that are impossible to ignore. And while all of those items are important to note, savour, and pay attention to, I find myself drawn to the smaller moments in time. The almost imperceptible yet impactful catalysts that are most often responsible for growth.  What I find interesting about those tiny agitators is the amount of pain and discomfort they often create as they push us to respond. Like the grain of sand in our shoe that will cause a blister if we don't stop to remove it, ignoring these pain points only leads to longer-lasting, deeper dis-ease if not attended to. It was during a visit with a dear friend this past week that this point was driven home for me. I was describing to her a feeling of overwhelm I had been dealing with (o...
Read more

Letting Go

 This past weekend, I helped my eldest son as he prepared to take the next big step in his life's adventures.  It felt bittersweet to watch as he packed up the room in his apartment, in anticipation of setting up a new room in a new city in the near future.  I have felt proud of him over the past few months as he has navigated many unknowns and new situations with a sense of certainty and enthusiasm for what lies ahead.  Deep down, I marvelled at his ability to let go, to embrace the new opportunities being presented while letting go of the life he had been establishing over the past couple of years.  Thinking back to when I was his age, I am not sure that I would have had the ability to make these same decisions so easily.  Sure, I have had my fair share of tough choices and have navigated change as I have journeyed through life. Still, I have often felt a sense of dis-ease when it comes to letting go of what is or has been to make room for what might be....
Read more

Cheer Stations

 Yesterday, I ran my fifth full marathon, my first in two years.  The idea felt daunting at first - I hadn't forgotten how all-encompassing the training could feel, spanning sixteen weeks and requiring hundreds of kilomteters to be travelled simply to complete those last 42.2.  And yet, there I was, signing up and taking on the work. Training went well - the weeks seemed to pass more quickly than I expected them to, and despite a slightly cranky hamstring, my body and mind adapted to the workouts and didn't put up roadblocks along the way.  Getting up and getting out for those early morning runs and long weekend runs became routine, and something I looked forward to.  Especially the long runs that had me crossing the city instead of sticking to very well-worn routes from previous training blocks.  Friends started to inquire about the big day, and I noticed that many of them seemed to be more excited about the race than I was.  With it not being my firs...
Read more