Becoming Your Own Advocate

When was the last time that you stopped and actually took some of your own best advice?  For me it has been lately as I have started to advocate for myself.  I have often encouraged this practice with my kids in moments when I have witnessed them quietly accepting an answer or predetermined outcome to something that they are facing.  It is not an easy practice to engage in as it tends to push against a social belief that "good" people are the ones who go along and don't make waves.  And who doesn't want to be seen as a good person?  

Recently I have found myself starting to try and incorporate self-advocacy into more of my days.  Often in small ways, like asking for what I would actually like instead of quietly accepting that whatever is on display or presented to me is all that I can choose from.  It is quite amazing what becomes available for you when you politely ask as opposed to that sense of wishing that things could be different.  And what I have come to realize is that folks are not often put out by the ask.  I think that we often find ourselves falling into ruts of what we believe is true and these small moments of asking for more or questioning if there is something else allows everyone's perspective on possibilities to expand.

The most interesting thing that I have found in all of this is that the one person who I have the hardest time advocating with...is me.  Advocating for myself, to myself is incredibly difficult.  What do I mean by this?  For example, feeling tired and advocating for a day off of training WITHOUT guilt or fear.  Or knowing that I need quiet time to recharge after a hectic day or week and advocating for a peaceful night despite the fact that there are other competing commitments that I feel compelled to be involved with.  These may not seem to be very monumental on the surface, and they are not.  Where the big impact lies is in the act itself.  In the believing that you are worth the effort to advocate for and to also see yourself as worthy of the request that you are making for yourself. 

I feel that in these moments of self-advocacy we build our self-esteem and learn to see ourselves with eyes of love instead of a sense of frustration at a perceived weakness or failure.  And each time we go to bat for our needs and allow those needs to be met, we walk away with the knowledge that if we can do this with ourselves why not take these beliefs out to the wider world as well? 

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