What's the Hurry?

One of the biggest battles I wage with myself regularly involves time.  Primarily, how to use almost every last minute of each waking hour doing, accomplishing, moving, being.  It has proven to be rather exhausting at times, and if I were to ask the audience I know that I would not be the only one nodding in solidarity.

What is it about time that drives us to try and become hyper-efficient?  Maybe it's not time at all, maybe it is us and the mindset of more is more that drives this urge.  At my last job, a sense of warped pride came with having a jammed schedule, hopping in and out of Teams meetings daily.  Blustering onto calls a few moments late because the last one ran long, inevitably causing the current one to do the same.  I remember feeling panicked on days when my calendar looked open - was I doing enough without those multi-coloured productivity blocks for all to see?

As I prepared to move away from that bustle I knew I had some inside work to do.  I knew I did not want to carry that vibe into this new chapter of my life.  Enter Mother Nature for the win.

One morning last week I found myself at the lake taking in the wild beauty of the waves and wind.  It was an overcast morning, with a bit of rain thrown into the mix for good measure.  As I donned my neoprene socks and prepared to walk into the water I felt a blanket of calm wrap around me.  I was where I needed to be.  Standing in the choppy water, I noticed my mind wandering to time...how much time had elapsed so far...how long would my dip last today...how many days has my practice included...and so on.  As my mind turned these questions over, another question popped into my head "What's the hurry?"  Great question, indeed.  What WAS my hurry?  

I thought about it for a moment - I really had no hurry.  No virtual meetings were awaiting me when I came back home, I had no appointments and no one waiting for me to complete work for them.  I only needed to tend to myself, and I was worth the extra time.  One long exhale later I found myself paying attention to the seagulls circling and playing overhead, to the changing waves and winds, and not my watch.  I felt my shoulders relax as my body began to allow the waves to work their magic gently pushing and pulling, reminding me that giving in and allowing is the only way through.

With school starting in a few weeks, I have time on my hands and will do my utmost to remember this morning and the lesson learned.  Despite my innate tendency to jam-pack days and fill every moment, I will do the opposite.  Instead, I will lean into open spaces and empty calendar blocks.  I will relish the opportunity to slow down and move with intention instead of inattention.  And before jumping from one thing to the next I will be sure to check in and ask "What's the hurry?"