Letting Go of Expectations

 The weather forecast matched what I saw when I looked out at the skies - overcast and setting up to be yet another rainy day.  Oh well.  I was getting ready for my daily dip, and the lake is wet anyway, so why fuss over a bit of rain?  I packed up my dipping gear, and set off on my short trip to the shoreline.

I prepared myself for a non-descript morning with nothing to see except grey skies and seagulls.  Lower expectations lead to less disappointment, as I have often told myself.  As I drove down to the water I noticed that the rain I was expecting seemed to be holding off, and as I neared the beach I also noticed that the skies were not so grey after all.  In fact, looking out at the horizon my eyes were met by an unexpected glowing slice of peachy pink sky that filled me with joy. 

In that moment I realized something - while lowering expectations may help diminish disappointment, it also leaves us closed to experiencing delight.  What would happen if we left ourselves open, with no expectations at all?  If we approached our days with an open-minded and open-hearted approach that allowed us to experience wonder and awe even in the tiniest of moments.

As I shed my warm layers and slowly waded into the aquamarine water, I marveled at how unexpected this morning was.  The waves were gentle and lapping at my throat while I took in the beauty that surrounded and captivated me.  I began to reflect on other areas of my life where I might have missed out on moments such as these because I had preemptively decided how things were going to work out.  How often had I robbed myself of  bliss by assuming the worst?  My track record was skewed towards missing out on joy versus being gutted when things didn't work out as I expected them to.  Sadly, I had given up on setting high expectations years ago.  It was much safer to expect the worst and then be pleasantly surprised when things turned out more positively.

My time in the water seemed to fly by; I turned my face away from the glowing skies, breaking their spell, and made my way back to the beach.  I took my time getting changed and dressed in warmer clothes.  The air was not cold, the wind was minimal, and I felt comfortable sitting and gazing out for a few extra minutes to reflect on the magic that had taken place and the message that had been sent. 

That morning I realized the importance of being open to experiencing whatever life might have waiting for me.  Trying to proactively protect myself from dismay is not only ineffective, it is also an energy drain.  The work it takes to cycle through negative thought loops trying to solve for any and all potential outcomes is exhausting and often unnecessary.  Instead, I am going to put that energy towards taking more deep breaths and trusting that I will be able to face what meets me, being okay with good enough instead of perfect. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Solar Return Reflections

 As I embark on a new solar return, I am compelled to reflect on the year that is closing behind me. Exercises like these often have us remembering the big wins or struggles, the notable changes and shifts that have taken place, the happenings that are impossible to ignore. And while all of those items are important to note, savour, and pay attention to, I find myself drawn to the smaller moments in time. The almost imperceptible yet impactful catalysts that are most often responsible for growth.  What I find interesting about those tiny agitators is the amount of pain and discomfort they often create as they push us to respond. Like the grain of sand in our shoe that will cause a blister if we don't stop to remove it, ignoring these pain points only leads to longer-lasting, deeper dis-ease if not attended to. It was during a visit with a dear friend this past week that this point was driven home for me. I was describing to her a feeling of overwhelm I had been dealing with (o...
Read more

Letting Go

 This past weekend, I helped my eldest son as he prepared to take the next big step in his life's adventures.  It felt bittersweet to watch as he packed up the room in his apartment, in anticipation of setting up a new room in a new city in the near future.  I have felt proud of him over the past few months as he has navigated many unknowns and new situations with a sense of certainty and enthusiasm for what lies ahead.  Deep down, I marvelled at his ability to let go, to embrace the new opportunities being presented while letting go of the life he had been establishing over the past couple of years.  Thinking back to when I was his age, I am not sure that I would have had the ability to make these same decisions so easily.  Sure, I have had my fair share of tough choices and have navigated change as I have journeyed through life. Still, I have often felt a sense of dis-ease when it comes to letting go of what is or has been to make room for what might be....
Read more

Cheer Stations

 Yesterday, I ran my fifth full marathon, my first in two years.  The idea felt daunting at first - I hadn't forgotten how all-encompassing the training could feel, spanning sixteen weeks and requiring hundreds of kilomteters to be travelled simply to complete those last 42.2.  And yet, there I was, signing up and taking on the work. Training went well - the weeks seemed to pass more quickly than I expected them to, and despite a slightly cranky hamstring, my body and mind adapted to the workouts and didn't put up roadblocks along the way.  Getting up and getting out for those early morning runs and long weekend runs became routine, and something I looked forward to.  Especially the long runs that had me crossing the city instead of sticking to very well-worn routes from previous training blocks.  Friends started to inquire about the big day, and I noticed that many of them seemed to be more excited about the race than I was.  With it not being my firs...
Read more