Unraveling

When you think of the word unravel, what images and emotions come forward?  In my mind, I picture a beloved sweater being snagged on a sharp object and doomed to fray and eventually disintegrate.  Accompanied by this image are feelings of deep regret, loss, and dismay.   These same emotions have often been present when I have felt aspects of my life coming apart at the seams, and I have felt helpless to intervene or stop the process.

Only recently has my mind changed about the idea of unraveling and the positive power that this phenomenon can have in our lives and personal growth.  The shift took place when I learned what the word ravel means.  It is an interesting word with two contradictory definitions -- ravel can mean both the act of disentangling or tangling of loose threads or strands.  Something that is raveled could be either tightly wound or undone -- when something becomes unraveled it is unwound or loosened up.  Thinking more about my previous feelings towards the word unravel, I realized that perhaps it is not a negative state to be in after all.

I will admit that more often than not I feel like I am raveled, in that I am rather tightly bound to my routines, my ideas about myself, and what I need to be/should be doing at any given moment.  From the outside looking in, this may seem to fall under the umbrella of focus and discipline, but sometimes from my vantage point, it feels rather tiring.  While I enjoy having a clear idea of what my days will look like and being prepared for what lies ahead of me having wiggle room for spontaneity would not be unwelcome.  Perhaps allowing my plans to unravel just a bit would not be the end of the world.

Over time I have noticed that my self-perception has also become rather locked-in, causing me to think twice before stretching my comfort zone and exploring my identity further.  I wonder what would happen if I were to allow my self-image to unravel and uncover hidden parts of myself that have been hidden from view for too long.  Comfort breeds complacency and I am feeling a need to shake things up a bit, welcoming in those feelings of awkwardness, vulnerability, and uncertainty.  It's not that I am looking to find a loose thread and give a mighty tug; I am in a place of not being scared of noticing where those loose threads are and gently teasing them apart to see what new outcomes will be revealed as old coverings begin to fall away.

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