Naturally Imperfect

I appreciate the Universe's way of imparting wisdom. That said, I don't always appreciate it in the moment. It more often than not requires some time to process before admiration can take hold. In the moment, I am usually too busy swearing and asking, "WHY?"  I have enjoyed two such moments in the past week, both involving a rather large bag of frozen berries, gravity, and my kitchen floor.

I will admit, that I am someone who tends to have more than one thought in my mind and more than one activity on the go at any given moment.  I am not sure if this is related to an undiagnosed attention deficit or the result of spending more than two decades in the corporate world where "multi-tasking" was seen as the holy grail of productivity.  (Spoiler alert - it is actually impossible for the human brain to effectively or efficiently work on more than one task at once, thus rendering the whole idea of multi-tasking null and void).  Regardless of the underlying reason, the Universe decided to strike while I was less than present, madly food-prepping for the week ahead.  I had just opened an oversized bag of "naturally imperfect" frozen berries and was adding the remnants of an existing bag to it, in an attempt to save some room in my freezer.  I then put the empty bag near the litter box for use at a later time.  I was just turning around to walk back into the kitchen when I watched the very full bag of berries slowly fold over toward the floor, cascading a rainbow of fruit onto my kitchen floor.  Mother. Of. Pearl!  I managed to stop the flow and began the messy job of cleaning up the quickly thawing mess, which allowed me to also partake in an impromptu cleaning of my kitchen floor.  After I had the mess and my emotions under control, I paused to consider what had just happened.  It wasn't rocket science to realize that I had been more concerned with productivity over presence, the end result being a setback instead of steps forward.  I told myself that going forward I would endeavor to try and complete one job at a time, resisting the siren call of "just doing one thing" while I was in the middle of a bigger task.

Fast forward a few days and my new resolve seemed to be holding.  I was recognizing when the lure of multi-tasking came to mind and focusing on finishing one to-do before starting a new one.  It felt good and I was proud of myself for noticing and making this change.  Then Sunday came around.  Once again I had just opened a large bag of berries and was measuring out some for a snack.  This time I turned to put the measuring cup in the sink when gravity took hold - fortunately I was close enough to contain the spill to only a few pieces, but once again I was left frustrated, exclaiming out loud "What in the hell is WRONG with this fruit???"  Just like the first time, once the mess was cleaned up and the berries were safely put away I analyzed the situation - this time I felt less at fault, as rinsing out the measuring cup was part of the task I had been engaged in.  Although I felt like I was not as disengaged as before, I still felt frustrated and annoyed with myself.  How could I have let this happen AGAIN?  Why couldn't I just close the damn bag as soon as I was done with it? How many times do I need to clean blueberries off my kitchen floor before I remember to pay attention to the position of the berry bag relative to the counter's edge?  Then a thought popped into my head that disrupted this tirade.  I am as naturally imperfect as these berries.  

Instead of beating myself up for these "learning opportunities" I could perhaps reframe them as moments of growth.  Recognizing a need to be more focused in my days is a huge step forward for me, especially as I look toward attending school full-time this fall.  Just like meditation, coming back again and again to the practice of being mindful is something that I know will be a lifetime's pursuit for me, and learning to be gentle when my path wanders will be a big part of the journey.  Even more important and impactful is learning to embrace and even find affection for our natural imperfections, as they make us who we are and lead us to discoveries that we might not experience otherwise.