Unexpected Outcomes

This past weekend I had the opportunity to embrace creativity through playing with clay.  Although I was an enthusiastic crafter as a child, creating earrings and other jewlery pieces, I had never thrown clay before and had images of my half-completed vases being flung off of an out of control pottery wheel.  I shrugged off my self-doubt, reminding myself that this was all about fun and play, not end results.    

As I was handed my first ball of clay to work with it dawned on me that I hadn't given any prior thought to what I wanted to create during the workshop.  So unlike me to not have a plan or even remote idea of what I was working toward.  I started to work the lump into a ball, allowing my hands to explore and exeriment.  Our instructor gave us guidance regarding shaping and defining our pieces, but the rest was up to us.  To say the experience was soothing would be an understatement.  It felt magical to watch as my unseemly ball of clay slowly morphed into a decorative vessel that will eventually hold my crystals.  

Next we moved to the pottery wheels, which both thrilled and frightened me.  I was not kidding when I said that I had visions of mass destruction caused by my clumsiness or overzealous use of the speed pedal.  But once again I allowed curiosity to outweigh self-doubt.  Instructions for the wheel were much more involved and as I listened I wondered if I would remember anything at all when the time came to actually try it myself.  I decided to just be in the moment and let whatever happened happen.  And what happened was beautiful.  As the wheel turned, I allowed my hands to take over from my mind and instead of overthinking I let go and sank into the moment.  Time seemed to stand still as I gently and patiently turned a lump of clay into a bowl.  

Walking out of the workshop a couple of hours later I couldn't help but reflect on how similiar the practice of clay work is to the practice of mindfulness.  It reminded me of how caught up we often are in needing to know our next step, or next iteration, or eventual outcome that our momentum can to halt as we get caught up in analysis paralysis.  While we often hear about flow states and the ease that can come when we allow ourselves the grace to let go of the need for certainty, it is much more powerful to actually experience that feeling if even for a short time. 

Playing with clay also reminded me that nothing is permanent - just because you made a choice does not mean that you are tied to it forever.  This has been a hard idea for me to get comfortable with.  I have often felt like I had one chance to make a decision and once that decision was made, there was no going back. I believed that changing my mind was a sign of weakness or proof that I was inept.  Over time I have started to embrace the idea that we do not need to be tied to outcomes that are not as we expected and are not serving us.  Sometimes those unexpected outcomes end up being the new guideposts that bring us to where we were meant to be headed all along.