Intentionality

Standing on the beach the other morning, preparing to walk into the water to start a new day, I paused to consider my practice of cold dipping. Recent windy conditions resulted in the lake inverting, or “flipping”, meaning that the much colder water at the bottom of the lake was brought to the surface, causing the temperature to drop from a balmy 18 degrees Celsius to a meagre 10 degrees overnight. You can imagine my shock as I stepped into the newly frigid water the day of the inversion, having acclimated to the milder temperatures in the weeks prior. Knowing that this had taken place, I found myself slightly hesitant to walk into the lake in the days that followed. Yes, I still loved starting my day by meeting Mother Nature in the early morning light, but I also knew that until my body had time to adjust, those steps from land to water would be difficult.

It also made me reflect on intentionality and what it takes to knowingly put yourself into an uncomfortable or difficult situation in the name of growth or self-discovery. On paper, I seem to be someone who embraces change and challenges, walking towards instead of walking away. And while this is true, the mindset behind this approach has not always been the same. Looking back and honestly reflecting I must admit that I have often approached difficult situations with a shrug of the shoulders and “we’ll see” attitude. Being open to the experience that was coming my way but not from a place of confidence or intentionality.  I often likened these types of challenges to releasing a snowball from the top of a steep hill: once set on its path, I would be a witness to the outcome and taken along for the ride.

With age and experience has come the knowledge that being an active participant in life’s adventures is a much more exhilarating and rewarding approach to take. While we cannot always determine how things will turn out, no matter how hard we try to control for confounds and limit disappointments, the energy we invest on those endeavours is wasted. What would it feel like instead to face moments of challenge and difficulty with intention? Opening our mouths and hearts to begin an uncomfortable conversation, or putting ourselves into a moment or two of physical duress, knowing that we will come out the other side better for having had the experience. By taking back our power and allowing ourselves to shine in our uncertainty and unknowing, we slowly but surely can grow our resilience and confidence while celebrating our wins and lessons learned.