Less is More

 I remember when I was first hired as a practice management coach, tasked with helping my firm's investment advisors grow their businesses. I felt excited at the prospect of putting my many years of experience in the field to good use, and nervous as I wondered how I would manage to solve issues that were brought forward to me.  I saw my role as more of a fix-it person than a coach -- someone who would be expected to swoop in, gather details, and offer advice that would change lives, or something like that.

It wasn't long before I met with another coach who corrected my thinking. Coaching, as I eventually learned, is not predicated on fixing or necessarily solving problems on an ad-hoc basis.  Instead, it is the practice of meeting someone where they are, with whatever dilemma they may be facing, and allowing them to unwind the tangle through thoughtful conversations, space, and time. I have to say, once I realized that I didn't need to show up to meetings with quick fixes in hand, I found myself relaxing into the role and enjoying the process of holding space for others.

Lately, I've been listening to podcasts that have had a similar theme: the impact of holding space for others versus rushing in with well-meaning advice and solutions.  I remember being present in a peer-to-peer counselling group a few years ago when I saw the best example of this in play.  One group member came forward to share, and the facilitator asked them, before they began, if they were looking for advice or were looking to simply talk through what they were experiencing.  I was blown away by the EQ that our facilitator displayed in that moment and became determined to model more of my own interactions after that example.

While holding space for someone may sound a bit airy and not practical, I can tell you the power it holds is immeasurable.  When was the last time that you were able to unapologetically speak your mind and your truth without fear of repercussion, judgment, or reprimand?  Not only is having a judgment-free zone liberating, it also often provides the fertile ground needed to sprout new ideas and thought processes.  In fact, most of the growth and a-ha moments tend to take place after the conversation is over, not during.  As we mull over what was said, hearing our own voice speak its truth out loud, we sometimes are able to gain that fresh perspective we so badly needed in the first place.  Despite coming to a conversation like this feeling bewildered or unsure, deep down we often do know what we need to do, and just need a chance to talk through the situation at hand and clear away some of the murk to gain clarity on our path ahead.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Solar Return Reflections

 As I embark on a new solar return, I am compelled to reflect on the year that is closing behind me. Exercises like these often have us remembering the big wins or struggles, the notable changes and shifts that have taken place, the happenings that are impossible to ignore. And while all of those items are important to note, savour, and pay attention to, I find myself drawn to the smaller moments in time. The almost imperceptible yet impactful catalysts that are most often responsible for growth.  What I find interesting about those tiny agitators is the amount of pain and discomfort they often create as they push us to respond. Like the grain of sand in our shoe that will cause a blister if we don't stop to remove it, ignoring these pain points only leads to longer-lasting, deeper dis-ease if not attended to. It was during a visit with a dear friend this past week that this point was driven home for me. I was describing to her a feeling of overwhelm I had been dealing with (o...
Read more

Letting Go

 This past weekend, I helped my eldest son as he prepared to take the next big step in his life's adventures.  It felt bittersweet to watch as he packed up the room in his apartment, in anticipation of setting up a new room in a new city in the near future.  I have felt proud of him over the past few months as he has navigated many unknowns and new situations with a sense of certainty and enthusiasm for what lies ahead.  Deep down, I marvelled at his ability to let go, to embrace the new opportunities being presented while letting go of the life he had been establishing over the past couple of years.  Thinking back to when I was his age, I am not sure that I would have had the ability to make these same decisions so easily.  Sure, I have had my fair share of tough choices and have navigated change as I have journeyed through life. Still, I have often felt a sense of dis-ease when it comes to letting go of what is or has been to make room for what might be....
Read more

Cheer Stations

 Yesterday, I ran my fifth full marathon, my first in two years.  The idea felt daunting at first - I hadn't forgotten how all-encompassing the training could feel, spanning sixteen weeks and requiring hundreds of kilomteters to be travelled simply to complete those last 42.2.  And yet, there I was, signing up and taking on the work. Training went well - the weeks seemed to pass more quickly than I expected them to, and despite a slightly cranky hamstring, my body and mind adapted to the workouts and didn't put up roadblocks along the way.  Getting up and getting out for those early morning runs and long weekend runs became routine, and something I looked forward to.  Especially the long runs that had me crossing the city instead of sticking to very well-worn routes from previous training blocks.  Friends started to inquire about the big day, and I noticed that many of them seemed to be more excited about the race than I was.  With it not being my firs...
Read more