Asking For What You Need

Why is it so damn hard sometimes to ask for what we need?  What is it that keeps us quiet when speaking our truth, is what our soul is crying out for?  And more importantly, how can we change this pattern of silence?

In my experience, pain seems to be the only way through.  Physical, mental, emotional - there needs to be some level of real discomfort felt before I can push through my self-imposed boundaries and ask for what I require.  Despite being aware of this tendency and the inherent discomfort that comes with remaining silent in times of need, I struggle with the idea of proactively reaching out.

This is where I find myself lately, reactively asking for time, space, grace, and trying to find ways of reducing a sense of overwhelm that has snuck up on me.  What I find interesting is how hard asking for what I need feels like it will be, and yet how much relief comes when the words finally escape my mouth.  How quickly my fears of external judgment are extinguished as my ask is met with nothing but understanding and compassion; often much more understanding and compassion than I am levelling at myself in those moments.

Perhaps it is the ingrained idea of people expecting more from us than they really do.  Perhaps it is the desire or drive to show up in the world as a completely self-sufficient being.  Perhaps it is the misguided notion that asking for help is a sign of weakness.  Whatever the reason, I can say with unwavering certainty that none of these narratives hold up under scrutiny.  Listen deeply to yourself and the messages that your body and heart are sending you.  If you can listen without judgment and accept what you hear, you will be well on your way to knowing what you need, and knowing is the first step.