Under Construction

 If you live in Toronto or come here to visit, you will most likely find yourself nudging up against a construction project of some sort.  Often these feel like never-ending and puzzling occurrences - what exactly is the end-goal, and didn't they just finish working on this not long ago? Regardless of the reason for the interruption, it is something that we cannot seem to escape, no matter the season.  As I type this, there has been a large, orange construction sign sitting on my front lawn for several months now.  I once thought that it was a temporary fixture, but now believe that it is a perpetual addition to our yard, as there always appears to be construction of some sort on the horizon.

Looking out my window this morning at that very sign, I began to think about how this type of ongoing work appears in other areas of life.  I will put my hand up as someone who feels like they are in a continuing state of construction or renewal.  There always seems to be something I am working on, or learning and integrating into my life, and I do not believe that this work will necessarily ever come to an end, until the road ahead does.  I also do not mind the fact that I engage in ongoing upgrades.  Life would feel stagnant if there were not opportunities to adjust my lens and see things from a new angle.  This curiosity can also lead to a rabbit hole of to-dos, and I have needed reminding more than once about not turning my life into a series of self-improvement projects.

So where do we draw the line?  How much construction is too much?

I think that, much like the ongoing Toronto road work, when it begins to feel like all we are doing with our one precious life is trying to change it, it might be time to push pause and take a step back.  When working on ourselves starts to feel like a make-work project, it may be an unintentional way of delaying or deferring our focus on other, more important issues in our lives.  Procrastination can embody many different forms, and may sometimes even look like being too busy to start work where it's really needed.

Once again, it comes down to mindfulness and being aware of our needs and where our energy is being focused.  There may be seasons in our lives where we need to have a busier construction schedule, and the work being done feels meaningful, like it is clearing the path for future growth and development.  At other times, however, it may be worthwhile to pause and honestly evaluate where we are putting our resources and lighten the workload.  Learning to ebb and flow with our needs and desires is not an easy practice, which is why it is a practice and not something we may ever perfect.