Kerri On Down The Road

It's funny how quickly you can become accustomed to change and to a certain pace of change.  When I look at the past six months of my life and if I really stop and think about all that has taken place, events that I have had control over and those which I have not, it is pretty amazing and honestly a little overwhelming.  Being in the middle of all of this change and movement, growth and exploration, it is easy to lose sight of how much work has taken place and the pace at which these changes have occurred.  By losing perspective around that, I feel like I've simply become accustomed to this fast pace of change and development, and have almost become addicted to it.  To the feeling of movement and coming into myself after so long without that direction or sense of self.  Finally seeing and more importantly accepting myself has truly been something I never really put much thought towards before, and now that I've started I almost feel like a day without some sort...

As the days and weeks progress, I have started to make better decisions around self care when it comes to physical activity.  I am finally realizing that all too often I had been pushing myself, always striving to do more with less, thinking that it was some type of achievement to do so much while running on empty.  What I now know is that I am stronger and perform much better when I am properly fueled and rested, and there is a reason behind what I am doing.  Not activity for the sake of always being on the go and being busy.  Activity because it is a part of a greater plan, or because it brings happiness or is going to serve me and my body in some other way.  All too often I used being busy to escape feelings that I didn't want to experience.  Instead of numbing through alcohol, drugs or other vices, I chose the "healthy" option of always being active.  And as a result of this practice, I suffered repetitive injuries and ongoing exhaustion.  I ...

The other day, I was being coached by a dear friend when she asked a question that really resonated with me.  She asked me what I had been noticing about the situation that we were discussing.  Noticing....that word, the sentiment really stuck with me. After the call I was still thinking about it.  About how it feels like a more gentle, active and mindful way of taking in what is happening now in your life.  I felt like noticing allowed me to see more of what was happening, to use a wider lens to look through.  And then I started to think about what I typically do in my life, and that would be focus.  I have been a person who could be described as very focused and driven.  When I set my sights on a goal or decide on a direction to move towards, look out!  It is usually full steam ahead, target locked on and there's no stopping until the task has been accomplished.  A great method of achieving goals, there's no denying that.  What I sta...

The other day I experienced something that I at first could only describe as a crazy coincidence.  I ended up running into someone on a streetcar out of the blue, whose path I never would normally cross, unless I purposely made it happen.  And it was someone who I absolutely wanted to see, and had been thinking of, but had I knew I needed to give some space. The circumstances around this were all just too random, too out of my control and probably could never be duplicated, even if I tried to.  I never usually take the streetcar home, and was daydreaming instead of getting off at the stop that I had planned to.  And as a result, our paths crossed. Which got me wondering, what IS coincidence?  Does it exist or does everything happen for a reason, and with a purpose?  Do we tell ourselves that these occurrences are just coincidences to make sense of life? And are we best to let things flow as they will, believing that the Universe has a plan and these "coinc...

Can you think back to the first time you worked out or went to a gym?  For most of us it was an uncomfortable, confusing and potentially unsatisfying experience filled with moments of "why am I here?" and "what the heck do I do now that I am here???" Starting anything new is often uncomfortable, no matter how much we may realize that it is a change that we need in our lives, or is something that will help us to achieve an important goal or milestone. I used to end my workouts with a congratulatory cup of coffee and cigarette and feel pretty darned accomplished that I'd worked out.  Then would go home and eat some version of what my latest starvation diet consisted of, and call it a day.  Despite the many things I was doing that weren't quite on track, the basic habit of moving and getting stronger was born.  From there I eventually quit smoking, learned that food wasn't all bad and also started to learn about eating to be strong and healthy.  (Note, I ...

I managed to do several reps of a very difficult exercise yesterday.  One I find daunting, as keeping good form is so key to success.  No, it wasn't chin ups, squats or dead lifts.  It is much harder than those and much more rewarding.  This exercise won't make me look better in a pair of jeans, but will improve my posture as I will walk with my head held higher and my heart feeling lighter. My exercise? Reframing  I reframed a situation and put a stop to the stories that I had been telling myself. Full disclosure - I have started to dip a toe into the online dating scene.  I felt that although I do hold out hope for a happenstance meeting on the streetcar or at a coffee shop, it is likely not going to happen that way.  So I decided to try going online and see what happens.  Through that I matched with someone and so far have enjoyed a couple of really comfortable message exchanges, with an in-person meeting (yes, a DATE) in the coming days....

I think the biggest hurdle and roadblock that we often face is ourselves.  We stand in our own way much more often than anyone or anything else does or will.  Part of this is a protective reaction  - the last thing that most of us ever want to do is experience that feeling of discomfort that comes with pushing our edges and leaning against what we have defined as our comfort zone.  Lots of good things happen within our comfort zone without having to break too much of a sweat or put ourselves in a position of vulnerability.  But so much more can happen as you push and lean against those boundaries.  And as you do so, you will start to realize that those moments of discomfort will fade and suddenly where you once felt uncomfortable, starts to feel a bit less scary.  A bit less out of our control.  As children we are constantly pushing against this comfort zone as we learn how to move from crawling to walking to running to climbing trees and hurtling...