Kerri On Down The Road

 I saw a meme the other day in my social media feed that stated:                              "I always trust the next chapter because I know the author". I made sure to capture the image, as it made me stop and think do I trust my next chapter?  Being the author of our personal stories is not an easy job.  Despite the feeling at times that life happens to us and we are along for the ride, we are constantly making microdecisions and choices that may seem insignificant, but carry larger ripples.  Often, the outcome of those ripples does not show itself until many chapters have passed, and we may have even forgotten all about what led us to where we have landed.   Some plot twists we are absolutely in control of, and are conscious decisions we make either in the heat of the moment or after a long, slow burn brings a big change in our lives that we may or may not feel ready to...

 I seem to be forever adding notes to my phone, items to my calendar, and due dates to my whiteboard at home:  all reminders of things I need to do, places I need to be, and what needs to get done.  This weekend, I took some time to remind myself of something more important - the person behind all those lists and due dates. It is so easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of what is happening next that we forget the why behind it all.  We lose ourselves in the doing, simply moving our way through our days, not pausing even for a moment to remember our why.  It's not our fault; life moves quickly, and we are often fighting a battle of too much to do with too little time.  It feels indulgent to slow down and connect with ourselves, and this is how we forget.   We forget who we are: our likes, dislikes, the experiences that shaped us, and our hopes for the future. We put these personal inventories on the back burner to be added to a to-do list for ano...

Anyone who knows me will agree that I am someone who tends to find comfort in feeling like I have things figured out.  I mean, who doesn't?  Feeling like the ground beneath your feet is steady and predictable brings with it a sense of confidence and ease, one less thing to worry or wonder about. It can also be limiting at times, especially if we allow ourselves to be bound to these expected outcomes. My therapist will often call me out on the practice of trying to figure things out, looking at the world through a rather binary lens of things being either this or that, and looking for the reasons and logical outcomes as a result of these conclusions.  Letting go of this aspect of control is scary, and also liberating. Lately, I have been trying to catch myself in the act of going too far into the perceived future, gently guiding my mind back to where my feet happen to be at the moment, remembering that being in the present is the only place I'm required to be.  It. Is...

 This past weekend found me lacing up for a half-marathon just north of the city.  It was a race I hadn't run before, taking place in a township I have often visited on two wheels, either powered by my legs or a motor.  Travelling there and revisiting some fond memories, while making new ones, felt like a fun way to spend a Sunday morning, and the distance felt challenging yet manageable.  This would be my first long race of the season, and would provide me with some feedback about the training I've been doing since I ran my marathon last fall. In the months leading up to this race, I had been diligently putting away the kilometres, managing four runs a week, despite the weather and other distractions life had to offer.  The runs often felt like an anchor for my weeks, the one thing I could count on when other aspects of my days felt out of my control.  School was tough this semester, and running provided a necessary outlet to distract my mind from the over...