Kerri On Down The Road

 It's a funny thing how coming to the end of a year can kick start an inner dialogue about achievement.  Speaking from the "I", for me it often is not a self-talk filled with high fives and pats on the back.  Instead it often is from a lens of what I have crossed of "the list" with a heavy lean towards what I have not managed to cross off quite yet.  And with the days on the calendar quickly passing, those incomplete items are not likely to be magically completed before the ball drops on the 31st. This year I am going to try something different and I invite you to do the same.  Instead of trying to think back to what intentions I had set in January, which feels like an awfully long time ago, I am going to look at where I am right now as I sit here in my pajamas, typing away.  I am going to take stock of what I have going on in my life that I feel is serving me, and also those things that may have manage to creep their way onto my radar and are not in my bes...

 The other morning as I was sitting down to journal I pulled a card that stated "I Chose Love No Matter What".  I paused to take that sentiment in and to see where it was landing for me.  What I began to notice were all of the places where love could be woven into my life. The first place I considered was in the relationships in my life.  Choosing love as a way to negotiate through the easy and more difficult seasons in a relationship is not always easy.  Love can be overlooked when we are on an upswing as we may be focusing on so many other emotions and feelings that are conjured up as part of our relationship highs.  When we are facing a downturn, we can often cast love aside and allow ourselves to be more focused on the darker emotions that may be present.  What would happen if we took some time to see where love fits into both of these scenarios - perhaps enhancing the upside even further and softening the downside a bit.  And also where love ...

 I am not sure if this idea makes me feel peaceful or uneasy.  No finish line.  No end point.  No way to determine when the work has been done, or accomplishment attained.  Or is there?  Could there be a way to know that we are moving in the direction that our hearts are pointing us in, if we don't have a line to cross to let us know when we have finally arrived? This idea struck me as I was on a run today.  It was a fun run, (and virtual) so there was no timing chip or need to submit a time to anyone or even really prove that I had done it at all.  As I was running along I started to think about how much importance we tend to place on finish lines, on the end to a task or to-do.  There definitely is a sense of satisfaction as we check chores off of a list and as we complete goals that we have decided we want to accomplish or attain.  What I have noticed in my life is how often I have managed to use these to-dos and goals as a way to pro...

 With the arrival of snow and colder weather, I feel like it is safe to say that we are tipping into winter.  In the past I have enjoyed running through the winter, despite the cold starts and slippery steps.  There has always been something peaceful about the experience that has encouraged me to take part.  This year has felt different.  Even before we had our first snow, I was starting to feel hesitation to lace up and go.  I couldn't put my finger on it, and with two spring races on the roster (both deferrals from 2019) it was starting to make me feel a bit uneasy and also worried.  What was wrong with me?  Was I falling out of love with running?   This past weekend my first in-person race took place and I met the day with some trepidation.  It had been snowing and was a bit blustery, but nothing compared to the last time I ran this race in December of 2019 (gale-force winds, sleet, ice on the ground etc.)  I was kicking mys...

The other morning I was struggling to get myself out of the house for a run.  Since the time change and season change has begun, this is something that I have encountered more and more.  I said to myself "I'm not motivated to run" and the weight of that sat with me.  I did manage to coerce myself to get dressed and go and did feel better for having pushed a bit.  What struck me while I was on my run was the realization that it wasn't that I am not motivated, it was a matter of not FEELING motivated.  There is a subtle but real difference between those two statements.  One is a description or label that I put on myself (not motivated) and the other is naming a feeling in the moment that would pass when given time. I started to think about the number of times that I have done this - taken a feeling and placed it upon myself as a label.  To get a feel for how this can have impact, try this quick exercise:  say the following statement out loud and pau...

 There is an African proverb that has been resonating with me lately:  "If you want to go fast, go alone.  If you want to go far, go together" When I think of this proverb it reminds me of a mindset I have carried with me for as long as I can remember.  The desire to reach goals and accomplishments all by myself, always under my own steam and without requiring help from anyone.  It almost became a badge of honour to be able to push myself into a corner and yet manage to achieve what ever it was I was going after, and being able to say to myself (or anyone who asked) that I did it all on my own.  Where did this deep desire and need to perform on a solo basis come from?  I am not entirely sure, although thinking back to my earlier school days, I know that I was often left with a bad taste in my mouth when we were assigned "group work".  I found that group work was code for a group being brought together to capitalize on the work of one or two dedica...

After a lot of soul searching, deliberation, and some good old fear-based procrastination I finally have taken steps towards teaching yoga on a regular basis.  Having completed my training this summer I was left with the desire to deepen my practice and to bring the gift of yoga to others who may not have a regular practice of their own.  It felt like a natural progression and yet I was unsure about how to make this happen.  I reached out to a couple of nearby studios to see if they might be taking on new instructors but due to uncertainty around their enrollment numbers, that option was not available.  In the back of my head I had this crazy thought "why not just teach from home?"   As quickly as that thought occurred to me, a number of road blocks were immediately presented: - where would I have the space to do this? - with all of the other "professional" online yoga teachers out there, why you? - would anyone even want to come? - what if you do this and ...