Kerri On Down The Road

 I sometimes feel like I am not alone in wanting someone to give me permission for the decisions I make.  From mundane things like staying in bed to get the extra rest I need, to taking a sick day when I feel unwell.  I find myself wishing that there was another voice in the room, telling me that it is okay to feel how I feel or to want what I want.  I also feel envious of those who seem to move through life with ease, making choices that suit their needs and well-being without a second thought.  Perhaps that is just the vision that I see on the surface, and maybe the same sense of uncertainty lingers underneath the facade.   Glennon Doyle wrote about permission slips in her book Untamed , and although that idea resonated with me when I first read it, I didn't give it much thought afterward.  Until now. As I lean into some pretty big life changes ahead, I find myself getting in my own way.  I often joke that my five-year plan has been ten yea...

 I will be the first to admit how hard it is to avoid the trap of comparison.  No matter how hard I try, time and time again I find myself ensnared in its shiny jaws, wondering how in the world I allowed myself to become trapped again.  Perhaps it is a rite of passage; as we take on new challenges and acquaint ourselves with a new community or identify with a new persona, we cannot help the urge to see where we stand.  Sometimes I feel that comparison helps me to move forward with a challenge or goal, igniting a fire in my belly and a desire to work harder.  Other times it does the complete opposite, deflating me and making me wonder why I am pushing so damn hard in the first place.   Something I heard today made me reconsider the role comparison plays in development and how I might be able to start viewing myself moving forward.  The idea that struck me like a lightning bolt was regarding a shift in how we view ourselves and our abilities.  ...

 As time passes after crossing the finish line at Chicago, I find myself reflecting on the experience as a whole.  This felt much different from other races I have participated in, and I also feel like there are a number of lessons for me to learn and carry forward as I prepare for spring marathon training this winter. For some reason, this time around I lined up at the start of Chicago feeling ready.  Not feeling afraid of the race or the challenge ahead of me.  Don't get me wrong, I have deep respect for the marathon and do not discount the distance nor the fortitude required to cross that finish line.  The difference for me this time around was that I knew I could do it.  Despite not knowing for sure what "doing it" might look or feel like, I knew that I had what it would take to get myself through the entirety of the race.  This is very new for me.  I have lined up for four marathons now, and have run a handful of half-marathons as well and th...

 I had an epiphany this morning while my coffee was brewing.  It came out of nowhere and was as clear as the quartz crystal I had in my pocket.  "I believe that I am a bass player".  Now without any context, this would be a strange statement and you might be wondering what I was brewing along with my coffee.  Allow me to explain. Two days earlier I had performed with my band for the first time in public, and in our ensemble I play bass.  I have been taking lessons for almost two years now, so this was not the first time I had strapped on my instrument and played these songs.  Yet for the longest time I had been struggling with the idea that I was a bassist.  I saw myself as someone who was learning to play or played bass.  Never as a bass player or musician.  Deep down I felt like that title was reserved for those who have dedicated their lives to their craft.  Who get up on stage in front of thousands and pull off the most beautifu...

 A couple of years ago I bought an infrared sauna blanket after seeing ads in my Instagram feed.  I am sure that the AI bots had figured out that I was a runner and was therefore obsessed with recovery and improving performance.  Guilty as charged.  I researched the benefits of adding infrared heat to my meager recovery routine and decided that it wouldn't hurt me and might actually help.  This mindset did quaver a bit when the blanket arrived, and buyer's remorse set in.  Would I actually use this thing and how often?  The protocol called for an hour spent in the blanket set at 80 degrees Fahrenheit and to incorporate this into a daily routine.  I read the return policy thoroughly and decided to see how things went, keeping an eye on the calendar to ensure my window of opportunity to return it would not pass.  Within a few days, I realized that I not only enjoyed this time of stillness, I felt great afterward; so much for returning it. ...

 A theme repeated in many of the books I read and podcasts I listen to centres on the idea of pain being a motivator for change.  Often it is pain that tends to be the final straw that pushes us to venture out of our comfort zone, or out of a typical pattern of being, toward a new direction.  While I agree and can think of many moments in my life where this has been the case, I can also identify moments where pain was not enough. I believe that we are hard-wired to avoid pain at all costs.  This serves us well as it often means that we do not put ourselves into situations that may have negative outcomes, potentially extending our lifespan.  But it also can result in a narrowing of our life experience as we seek comfort and status quo over new experiences with unknown outcomes.  In our quest to stay safe, what are we missing out on and how are those missed moments ultimately impacting our life's direction?  I know that in my life, had I not made choices...

 My original title for this one was Compound Interest , but I was afraid that folks might shy away from reading it for fear of it being about personal finances.  In a way, the original title holds true - this post is about the investments we make in ourselves and how each of these deposits has a much larger impact than we realize. I was listening with curiosity to a podcast featuring James Clear, the author of Atomic Habits , about habit-building, goal-setting, and personal accomplishments.  One idea that he shared really stuck with me.  He asked listeners to picture an ice cube sitting on a tray in a room that was 25 degrees Fahrenheit.   He then asked us to imagine what would take place as the room was slowly warmed up to 26, 27, and 28 degrees.  The answer was nothing - the ice cube would remain frozen, seemingly unchanged by the increase in temperature.  In fact, even as the room warmed up to 31 degrees the ice would not be melted.  In fa...