Kerri On Down The Road

 The bar was set with 20 lbs more than I had expected to lift that morning—a full 60 lbs more than my body weight—and more than I had ever imagined or dreamed I could or would move. As I set my feet and gazed ahead of me, none of those thoughts entered my mind. Instead, I felt a calm descend over me, and the only thing I focused on was my intention to make this deadlift happen. Was it heavy? Hell yes.  Did my legs quake and quiver as I slowly inched the bar to the top of the movement? You bet.  Did I ever once consider dropping it or stopping? Not a chance.  Deep down, I knew that as long as I stuck with it, I would get to where I wanted to be. Afterward, the realization of what I had just done washed over me and I was left feeling changed.  I could feel myself walking a little taller, moving more assuredly, projecting confidence and groundedness.  What I also noticed was how I had been feeling in comparison to the past couple of months.  Instead of be...

Making progress is a funny thing.  The art of allowing ourselves to take steps back to create space to move ahead often feels counterintuitive and frustrating.  Life would be so much easier if progress were only linear in nature! Lately, I have been assessing the places in my life where I am having the hardest time letting go of control or believing that I can control the outcomes of my choices.  This is not my first time at this rodeo, and I realize it won't be my last.  Despite listening to all the podcasts, reading all the books, and doing all the meditations I still manage to hold onto a tiny shred of hope that I can perhaps sway the universe in some way if I exert just the tiniest bit of force here and there.  And as usual, I am reminded of the futility of this when I become frustrated, exhausted, and no further ahead in my journey. It was during a mediation this week that I was reminded of the importance of stepping out of the way to allow for events to un...

I personally believe that the Universe drops breadcrumbs for us to follow; it is up to us to be aware enough to notice them scattered ahead of us.  A similar phenomenon happens when we set an intention for ourselves, whether to purchase a new piece of clothing or start a new routine in our lives.  Suddenly we can't escape reminders or examples of that very thing.  A simple way to experiment with this would be to set an intention to look for heart-shaped objects in your day-to-day life for the next week or so.  I guarantee that before long you will start to see rocks, leaves, and other non-descript items appearing before you all in that familiar shape.   Why does this happen and how can we conjure more of this magic?  Setting intentions and becoming more aware of the present moment would be good places to start.  When we are clear with our direction, intentions, and needs we open ourselves up to discovering the tools and resources we require. ...

I remember when I was first learning to drive.  How excited and terrified was to be navigating a potentially deadly machine through the city streets.  The sense of freedom it gave me was kept in check by my deep sense of responsibility as I sat behind the wheel.  I remember feeling terribly nervous whenever I saw a sign indicating I needed to merge lanes with nearby drivers.  Merging lanes while driving requires trust -- you need to believe that the drivers you are merging with will allow you to slide into this new shared lane unscathed.  I am finding that this same type of exercise is taking place in other areas of my life lately. The merging that is taking place for me feels like an inside job.  It is a merging of old ideas and beliefs with newer, greener ones.  Instead of replacing the old or casting it off completely, I am working on finding ways to comingle these older ways of being with who I am becoming as I change and grow.  Perhaps this i...

This past week I experienced a fantastic reminder of the power of a pause.  The recycling container that I keep under my sink was full and I had pulled it out and left it at the top of my apartment stairs as a reminder to empty it at some point in the day.  The container remained in place while I passed it by, sometimes stopping to add more items and other times looking at it and thinking "Next time I go outside I'll take it with me".  Gravity soon stepped in to nudge me along.   I placed one last item in the bin and managed to displace a couple of other empty containers, sending them crashing down the short flight of steps to my landing.  Various curse words were spoken as I went to collect the errant items.  I gingerly replaced all the empty containers, only to send more plastics on an escape mission down the full flight of steps to my downstairs apartment door.  This is where things got interesting. For the briefest of moments, I pictured mysel...

From the outside, it may look like I enjoy taking risks and trying new things.  This is somewhat true.  While I enjoy trying new things and expanding my life through new experiences, I feel like many of the risks I take are quite calculated.  I often spend time (over) analyzing possible outcomes and attempting to mitigate as much downside as possible.  Of course, these exercises in risk prevention are done quietly and happen without me even needing to put much thought into the matter.  Fear of failure or disappointment grabs the steering wheel and keeps me within my comfort zone.  While I appreciate the fact that this is done out of care or concern and in an attempt to protect me from feeling pain or discomfort, it also is self-limiting and causes a different type of dis-ease.  It leads to a sense of unfulfilled potential and questions of "what if?" So yesterday I decided to push those edges of comfort a bit.  As I prepared to run the TCS Half Mar...

This weekend marks one year since I completed the Chicago Marathon.  It was a huge milestone for me and something I had never anticipated participating in. As I reflected on memories from last year, I couldn't help but compare how I was feeling then to how I am feeling now, as I prepare to run the TCS Waterfront Half-Marathon next weekend.  Having my name drawn to run Chicago was a surprise and delight.  The elation buoyed me through the rigors of marathon training, helping me face some daunting training sessions that I would have much rather skipped.  The entire year focused on that one race and I did everything I could to work through injuries, stress, and overall fatigue so I could show up at the start line ready to go.   In comparison, running the TCS Half has been much more adaptable to my daily schedule.  I have managed to fit in my runs without making too many adjustments to other activities and have not worried as much about injuries through ov...