Kerri On Down The Road

 Raise your hand if you like to engage in what I call "The Grocery Bag Challenge".  For those who are unsure, let me explain.  The Grocery Bag Challenge is what takes place when you open the trunk of your car, after a full grocery shop, and look at the many bags lying there, and decide with complete determination that no matter what, you are carrying them ALL in one trip and one trip only.  It doesn't matter how awkward or difficult that one trip may turn out to be; it is going to happen if you have anything to say about it.   Sometimes you may need to regroup partway to your front door, due to bag handle slippage or your hand going numb, and that's okay, it still counts as long as you pick all of the bags back up and continue on your way.  For most of us, this usually plays out in a win - we huff and puff and silently (or not so silently) curse under our breath until we can dump all of our cargo on the kitchen floor with a resounding exhale of held br...

 I've been feeling a shift in energy and perspective lately, and it has left me thinking about how I've been living life, the direction I'm going in, and what really matters.  Sounds heavy, I'll admit, and perhaps it's just the typical thoughts that come to mind as we enter the second half of the year.  Today marks the Summer solstice, a time when we celebrate the longest day of the year, and all the sun's energy brings to our lives and the world around us.  While the summer tends to be a time when we feel more energized and are often more active, I've been feeling a call for quite the opposite lately.  I've been feeling a desire to slow down and spend less energy while I recalibrate and decide if I'm still heading in the right direction.   It's not that the goals I have set for myself are any less attractive or desirable; it's more about the method of reaching them and whether that still feels true to who I am and who I wish to become. For t...

 Today marks the end of my spring semester and the start of some downtime before my summer course begins. For the first time in a long time, I felt bittersweet when I hit submit on my final assignment, marking the end of the course; I was going to miss the coursework and learning I had grown accustomed to for the past six weeks.  This was not the experience I had when I closed out the winter semester or the fall semester prior.  The sense of relief and unburdening I experienced was immense; I knew I needed the downtime to prepare for the next courses on my schedule, and instead of savouring the days, I clung to them and wished for more.  Reading this, you might wonder why in the world I would continue along a path that was causing so much discomfort and distress, and that is a valid question.  One that I had asked myself on numerous occasions along the way.  The truth of the matter is that the feeling of discomfort was something I was used to, and there was...

 Ah, the rambling path of life.  Just as we start to move forward, encountering fresh ideas and enjoying new perspectives, we suddenly find ourselves looking out at scenery that is all too familiar.  At least, this has been my experience of life, especially of late.  It's like deja-vu all over again, and again, and again. Lessons that I thought I had learned, mistakes I vowed to not repeat, all coming back in some shape or form: a reminder that there is wisdom still to be imparted.  Not that I have ever thought I'd gathered all of the knowledge I would need to carry me through the rest of my days, nor that I had nothing left to learn.  It's more the sense of being humbled by the reminders that show how much growing there is still to do. There are days when these a-ha moments feel new and exciting, until further reflection, when I realize that I have been here before, perhaps under a different context and timeline, but the underlying theme I have uncovered i...

 "Old habits die hard".  There is so much truth held within those four words.  And while thinking about habits often prompts us to reflect on indulgences in our lives we might be better off walking away from, habits come in all shapes and sizes and encompass actions that are both healthy and unhealthy. In my life, I have overcome a few of the unhealthy habits we often think about, with smoking being one of the hardest habits for me to break.  Looking back, I remember how much I looked forward to the perceived sense of release I received each time I lit up, how effortlessly it fit into my daily routine, and how big of a hole there was each time I tried to walk away from it. It was that sense of loss that kept me coming back for more, the belief that I was giving up something important in my life when I told myself that I was not going to buy another pack or bum another one off a friend.  In the end, it took having a really bad flu to break the cycle and finally f...

 I saw a meme the other day in my social media feed that stated:                              "I always trust the next chapter because I know the author". I made sure to capture the image, as it made me stop and think do I trust my next chapter?  Being the author of our personal stories is not an easy job.  Despite the feeling at times that life happens to us and we are along for the ride, we are constantly making microdecisions and choices that may seem insignificant, but carry larger ripples.  Often, the outcome of those ripples does not show itself until many chapters have passed, and we may have even forgotten all about what led us to where we have landed.   Some plot twists we are absolutely in control of, and are conscious decisions we make either in the heat of the moment or after a long, slow burn brings a big change in our lives that we may or may not feel ready to...

 I seem to be forever adding notes to my phone, items to my calendar, and due dates to my whiteboard at home:  all reminders of things I need to do, places I need to be, and what needs to get done.  This weekend, I took some time to remind myself of something more important - the person behind all those lists and due dates. It is so easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of what is happening next that we forget the why behind it all.  We lose ourselves in the doing, simply moving our way through our days, not pausing even for a moment to remember our why.  It's not our fault; life moves quickly, and we are often fighting a battle of too much to do with too little time.  It feels indulgent to slow down and connect with ourselves, and this is how we forget.   We forget who we are: our likes, dislikes, the experiences that shaped us, and our hopes for the future. We put these personal inventories on the back burner to be added to a to-do list for ano...