Kerri On Down The Road

I have had a shell of this post sitting in my drafts for a couple of weeks now.  I had started to put some thoughts together around it, but was not feeling like it was quite "ready" to be written.  Reflecting on this past weekend I realized that not only was it time to write this post, my entire weekend was all about this post! When I first started to put some thought to this idea, I pictured operators at telephone switchboards, plugging and unplugging phone lines - connecting, disconnecting and reconnecting people.  The requirement for physical distance that we have been living with for the past few months has caused many of us to feel a sense of lost connection with others in our lives.  It has also provided an opportunity to gain perspective on what is truly important to us, and to realize what we were holding onto that might not be so critical anymore.  A chance to deepen those relationships that do provide meaning and to move on from ones that we may have...

I was first introduced to the concept or idea of space and time when I began playing hockey.  In that regard, space and time were (and still are) seen as being gifts that a player was given when trying to make a play.  As the days pass, I am finding myself at a point in my life where the current situation has provided space and time and I am being reminded about how much of a gift that is. In a physical sense, being able to not push recovery and start running until I really know that I am ready.  This hamstring/glute injury that I'm working through is taking its time to heal.  And I am sure that if I had the ability to see a chiropractor or massage therapist, I could have fast tracked this process somewhat. But without that option being available quite yet, I am able to use this space and time to let my body do what it needs to do to complete its healing and not only recover but become stronger and ready to move forward in a new way.  I can focus on the areas ...

I had the opportunity to go on a physically distanced walk with a good friend to catch up and reconnect on the weekend.  We met years ago through cycling and so of course the conversation eventually led to that topic.  We were discussing the fact that we had both taken a break from riding and were just starting to get back to it.  Our breaks occurred for different reasons, and coming back was something that we were both enjoying.  And part of that enjoyment seems to be stemming from the fact that we are approaching it much differently than before.  We discovered that neither of us are using computers on our bikes these days - so no way of knowing while riding what our speed/distance/cadence etc. is.  Instead we are riding by feel and just enjoying the time out on two wheels.  As my friend put it "I don't need a computer to tell me whether or not I am having a good ride".  I could not agree more.  It got me thinking about  how that senti...

Lately I have been taking time to go on walks as a break in my day.  I have been using this time to listen to a backlog of podcasts that I had saved up to listen to when I had some time...well that time seems to have arrived.  There were a number from earlier this year that I was listening to one day and there was a theme that really struck me - how much hope we pinned on the year 2020 at the start of the new year. I remember all of the memes and rants about how crummy 2019 had been for so many people and we all seemed to really be just getting through the year towards the end, yearning for this fresh start that the new year, and new decade were sure to bring.  And 2020 did start off well for many, so it seemed.  Perhaps it was just the relief of being able to start fresh that was putting people in a more positive mindset. And then came coronavirus.  And with that all of our hopes and plans for the year started to fade.  As news reports rolled out about t...

As the days tick by I am starting to feel like I am ready to lean into this new normal to see what learning and development can be found.  I feel like I spent the first week or two subconsciously fighting what was happening.  Feeling like it was happening to me, and I know that I was not alone.  The overall sense of being slowly stripped of our ability to control how our days and lives were playing out felt scary and unfamiliar.  We are so fortunate to live in a society where we have so many freedoms and rights that up until lately, were being taken for granted.  This has been demonstrated so very clearly by the large numbers of people who despite the warnings about going out and socializing have been actually fined now for doing so.  I feel like this is happening as a direct reaction to being told that we can't. The term "unprecedented" has been used so frequently now in the media and in most communications that have been shared that it has lost its impa...

For as long as I can remember, I have been a person who has seen things as black or white, right or wrong, good or bad.  It has been a struggle for me to sit in the middle ground, that grey area between the two extremes, as spending time there felt uncomfortable and often felt like I was taking a position of weakness.  The indecision or lack of definition of the grey areas felt weak because there was no real decision being made, it was like giving up and being nowhere in my stance or beliefs.  (Having said all of that, it is not like I am never indecisive...I can be very indecisive at times - just ask me where I would like to go for dinner or what I would like to do.  Being someone who likes to please others, I find myself often answering a question with a question instead of making a decision.  Work in progress...) What I am starting to notice and appreciate is the value of sitting in the grey areas sometimes.  Instead of being a place of weakness, I am ...

As the boys and I celebrated Easter weekend together in our home, I couldn't help but reflect on what Easter weekend last year was like.  Easter came a bit earlier and it was one of the first weekends when I was on my own in the new apartment.  I was still working on wrapping my head around the changes that were all around me, and also adjusting to not being able to run due to injury, and just generally trying to figure things out.  I had been invited to a family gathering and decided that instead of using the invite to avoid being on my own, I would take the opportunity to actually sit on my own and let all of the thoughts and feelings come and stay with me for awhile.  I knew deep down that no matter how scary the prospect of opening myself up to what may come was, I needed to take this time to do just that.  "Sit in it" as my counsellor so wisely advised.  What I discovered was that despite some sadness and moments of feeling lonely, I was actually okay...