Kerri On Down The Road

I have been listening to a lot of podcasts lately as I walk, and have noticed a recurring theme around catalysts.  In the context of the discussions, the catalysts being discussed are considered "relationship disruptors" for lack of a better term.  When I take a step back and look at my life I realize how important a role catalysts have played in many of the decisions and choices I have made and how they have taken the shape of people who I have let into my life and situations that I have found myself faced with. The other idea that seems to keep coming up is around tools, and how life tends to give us the very tools that we need in order to move forward or to overcome a barrier that we are facing.  All too often we aren't able to utilize these tools either because we are not in a place where we are ready to do the work, or we are buried too deep in our situation to be able to see what we have sitting in front of us. These ideas have been swirling around in my head and th...

 As I walked tonight I listened to the latest Unlocking Us podcast and as per usual, it resonated deeply.  Brene Brown was speaking with Sonya Renee Taylor on her book "The Body is Not an Apology" and as I listened to their conversation unfold, I heard so many messages that I have been processing lately. The main premise of the book (which I cannot wait to read for myself!) is the practice of radical self love.  In order to make true change in the world around oppression and hatred that is held for so many people based upon their appearance, sexual preferences and gender identity, we first need to address these negative tendencies that we have towards ourselves.  The one idea that she put forward that really struck me was that we possess something called natural intelligence.  Every living thing will become the highest form of itself and will do what is required to reach that naturally.  In other words, we can become the person who we are meant to be, and c...

Tomorrow I will be celebrating turning 49, and celebratory is truly the best word I can use to describe how I am feeling about many things lately.  I look at my life through the lens that I have honed over the past year and I realize just how far I have come in a relatively short amount of time.   It feels like for the majority of my life I have lived as a triangular peg that was trying so very hard to fit into a circular hole.  I was never comfortable with the shape I held naturally and tried so many different ways to try and change it in order to become closer to the image in my head.  So much energy spent on trying to diminish who I was in order to take up less space and slide into a version of myself that I thought would be more acceptable, more likeable, and ultimately would live happily ever after. What I discovered, often to my dismay, is that the parts of me that I tried so hard to change were the parts that make me who I really am.  Not necessarily...

 In Jen Hatmaker's book Fierce, Free and Full of Fire:  The Guide to Being Glorious You,  there is a chapter on setting boundaries that I can only describe as life changing.  That may sound dramatic, but bear with me.  You see, as a first-born Virgo daughter, I feel like I was created to be a people pleaser.  The desire to make others happy runs very deep in my nature and the thought of disappointing anyone through my actions makes me feel physically uncomfortable.  In fact the words "Kerri, I am disappointed in you" are the equivalent of a knife to the heart for me.  This tendency does not lend itself too easily to setting and holding boundaries in any aspect of my life, as there is a strong potential that my boundaries will end up causing disappointment or upset to someone else and that does not feel good.  Instead I have tended towards being a yes person - saying yes to lots of things that I likely should have said no to.  Some of the...

On a recent walk I was listening to Deepak Chopra discussing spiritual solutions to life's most difficult problems.  Someone asked him about rules to live by and he stated "I use memories but I do not allow memories to use me."  I literally stopped in my tracks and took note of it in my phone.   Fast forward a week and the depth of that sentiment really hit home. At the end of a morning ride this week my cycling partner and I were chatting and at one point in our conversation he looked at me and said "you know, you put yourself down a lot."  We both are fans of self-deprecating humour and liberally sprinkle it throughout our conversations, so for him to mention this to me in all seriousness really surprised me.  I am sure that I joked my way out of the discomfort of his observation in the moment, but it stuck with me.  It wasn't until a day or so later while out walking that I put two and two together. The negative comments and jokes that I have been m...

 I saw a post on Instagram from P!nk today with the caption "I always wondered why God gave me thunder thighs.  It's cause he knew I'd use them."  And it was posted beneath a picture of her crushing it on a wake board.  I loved seeing this as it really helped to reinforce something that I had read in the book I referenced last week by Jen Hatmaker.  In her book she mentioned that we would be a lot less prone to body negativity if we referred to our bodies as "she" instead of "it".  When I read that passage, I stopped and paused for a beat and let the words sink in.  And then realized that yes, I absolutely was guilty as charged on that.  I cannot actually count on my hands, feet and all of my other appendages the number of negative thoughts that I have expressed about my body over the years.  Sometimes kept to an inner dialogue, sometimes voiced out loud, the put downs, sarcastic "jokes"  and negative comments have been numerous.  A...

I just finished reading an excellent book by Jen Hatmaker called Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire:  The Guide to Being Glorious You .  I had heard her interviewed on Bren é  Brown's Unlocking Us podcast and knew that this book was something I needed to read.  In it she walks through areas of our lives where we can all likely shine some light and make some tweaks.  There were many chapters where I could put some energy to finish work that I have started in my life, however the one chapter that really stuck out for me was in regards to the relationships that we have with other women in our lives.   Growing up, I was always a tomboy and I suppose I still am today.  I tended to have guy friends and girl friends, but always felt like the relationships I had with the guys were the easier ones to manage.  They just happened...no drama and needing to second-guess or worry about what I had said or done, or how I had said it or done it.  This tende...