Kerri On Down The Road

 I found it interesting to stumble across this realization during my yoga training recently.  It was part of a talk on the principles behind yoga and not something that I was expecting to hear.  When those words were spoken, however, I knew that I was meant to hear them.  It was only as I took that statement in that I understood how much of my life has been spent living in with the completely opposite mindset, and how much of a  negative impact it has had as of late.  For those who know me well, saying that I tend to be "driven" is almost laughable.  I even laugh at myself at times for my tendency to decide to do something, learn something, achieve something and then go about doing just that.  And discipline is a huge part of that work.  I have always taken pride in my ability to be very rigidly committed to a larger goal and the work that is required to achieve it.  It has felt like who I am and has definitely been how I have projected ...

When someone asks you what your wildest dreams are, or what your dream job is, how do you react?  Do you excitedly blurt out your heart's desires, painting a luscious picture of what you consider to be your inner fantasies?  Do questions like these light you up and fill you with child-like enthusiasm?  Not me.  I have always found these types of questions to be stressful, hard to answer and almost embarrassing to answer at times.  I stammer, struggle to put out any ideas and often make things up to simply get through the exercise.  I have never admitted that before out loud and only in the past few days have even realized it or admitted it to myself. This has led me to wonder why.  Why does the idea of dreaming big make me feel so uncomfortable and scared?  Even as I write this I can feel the sensations that this topic conjures up for me...tightening in my chest, defensiveness, and a desire to point the spotlight elsewhere.  I feel like this ...

In yoga training last weekend we were discussing transitions.  When you stop and think about it, transitions are everywhere in our lives as they are by definition the place where two things meet and change from one into the other.  They can take the form of physical transitions like where our hair and scalp meet, or the various joints in our bodies, or emotionally like the transition from childhood to adolescence to adulthood.  Although they may differ in make up, they are often sensitive and can be tender and as such need to be treated with gentleness.  I am sure that I don't need to use the example of how much it hurts to have your hair pulled or to have your high school crush dump you for someone else. As we contemplated the many transition points in our bodies and lives we moved our discussion to focus on movement between poses in a yoga class, and how those moments are often the times when students can injure themselves.  The reason for this increased risk ...

The other day I was in the kitchen and for a change I had my laptop with me and was typing away.  I usually do my writing in my bedroom but having spent the better part of my day up there for work, I decided a change in scenery would do me good.  As I was happily writing away, my eldest son came along and asked me how much time I spend each day writing.  What a great question.  It stopped me in my tracks for a minute and as I was trying to come up with an answer, I realized that in this I was on the edge of an a-ha moment.  I told him the honest answer, that I didn't actually know how much time I spend but that I did know that I wasn't writing every day. The longer I thought about this, the clearer my realization became.  I hadn't been spending dedicated time on my writing, meanwhile I love to write and know that by making it a more consistent practice I will only become a better writer.  So what was stopping me?  On my kitchen wall is a picture t...