Kerri On Down The Road

 I went for a walk the other morning, despite the grey and rainy weather, determined to get outside and some movement.  As I walked I listened to an audio book and the chapter I was on was discussing how we often see our lives as battles to be fought, to be won or lost, to focus on making gains and not suffering setbacks. The author then began to describe how nature flows, through each season and the many layers that each contains.  I found it particularly fascinating when he spoke to autumn, how we often can get caught up in a sense of melancholy about the onset of winter despite all of the beauty and colour that surrounds us during this season.  How so much of the vibrant life of summer starts to fall away and we can also focus on that sense of loss and of things ending.  What he then said is what caught my attention - despite the fact that we are noticing a shedding of life there is also another activity taking place that we may not be as aware of.  The ...

 I first started writing this blog entry a year ago.  At that time I had been reading books on addiction recovery and was noticing many similarities in those processes and the work I had been doing to uncover the root of some enduring behaviour patterns that I was wanting to change.  As I was doing this deep dive, I came to a startling realization around deception and how it had played out in my thoughts and actions both towards myself and others. I started to notice how often I have lied to both myself and others throughout my life - saying yes when I meant no, saying no when I wanted to say yes or staying silent when I wanted to speak up.  And even little things like saying that I had read, heard, or done something in the throes of a great conversation with someone just so I could create a sense of belonging and feel like I fit in. This lying was never done vindictively - It was not like a premeditated intent that I came into a situation with.  Instead it tend...

 Often in my yoga classes I encourage my participants to close their eyes for a moment to find where there sense of centre is.  This usually takes place standing, and involves a subtle side to side and forwards and backwards movement, like a pendulum gently swaying.  Eventually we allow the movement to slow and come to stillness and we land at what feels like our centre in that moment.  We do this knowing that where we find our centre can and does shift from moment to moment, day to day and year to year.  I have started to reflect on this practice of finding my centre and how it has been manifesting in my life as a whole. I like the imagery of a pendulum gently swaying, as this is what my search has felt like.  I feel like for so many years I have been moving around my true place of being, at moments being quite close to it and in others quite far away.  All the while the pendulum has continued to sway, allowing me to catch glimpses and sensations of b...

So many of my reflections seem to take place during my morning runs.  This one is no different.  I was out on my morning run, getting close to the end and feeling tired. My plan had been to run to a specific side-street in order to hit the distance goal I had in mind, but as I ran towards that street I started to feel like I wasn't going to make it.  Instead I turned down a side street, which ended up bringing me to a spot where I had another chance to run to the original destination and then home.  What struck me (once I was standing in front of my house again) was that if I had not run down that first side street, I would not have made it to my goal because I was just not ready in that original moment. How often in life do we allow ourselves to take a pause in our journey to go a different way than the one we may feel is the "right" one because we simply aren't ready to go there quite yet?  And if we don't allow for that pause, what happens instead?  Do w...