Kerri On Down The Road

Walking to the subway after the Pride and Remembrance run this weekend, I felt a surge of warmth and recognition.  This is me.  I am home.  I almost started to cry.  What I realized in that moment was more than a knowing of who I am, it was a peace with what I am discovering. Last year I was in a different space as Pride approached.  It was my first "out" Pride and I was still adjusting to the idea of folks knowing that I was queer.  And yes, I had come out to friends and family and was accepted with love and open arms.  It was being seen as gay by people I didn't know that was throwing me off a bit.  Worrying about what that could mean for me as far as my career, my safety, and how I would be accepted (or not accepted) in the world.  I recognize that as a white woman who has a stable job and home, I am in a privileged position, to begin with, so some of these worries may appear to be trivial.  What I have also come to recognize is how d...

 It struck me this past weekend, just how incredible this journey we are on can be.  Had I remained in my first marriage, we would have been celebrating 23 years of married life together.  Instead, I found myself ambling around my apartment, spending time with my youngest son, studying for a mid-term towards my BA, meeting up with a friend I met while playing hockey, and going for a motorcycle ride.  None of these things were ever on my radar, and none would be a part of my life now had I not made some difficult and necessary decisions along the way. I started to think about those "You Are Here" maps that are posted in shopping malls and other large spaces where folks tend to get turned around and need some reminders or guidance about direction.  These guides are often quite simple and yet powerful in providing much-needed help to reestablish one's bearings in a new situation.  How appropriate, I thought, to take some time to look at our own lives and journ...

 Telling the truth is something that I have had struggles with in the past.  This is not to say that I am deceptive by nature, or who takes joy in lying to others.  What I came to realize a few years back was my tendency to tell white lies or perhaps commit errors of omission to save feelings, to fit in, or to people please.  It came as quite a shock to my system when I realized that all of these habits or behaviours were actually a form of dishonesty.  No matter how innocent my intentions were.  As Maya Angelou once said "When you know better, you do better" and I took that to heart once I had uncovered this truth about myself.  I started to listen to my words and to notice when I was tempted to say something that was inaccurate and more importantly to pinpoint why.  As I became more aware of my patterns, I was better able to get ahead of these slips and correct myself when necessary.  Over time I found that these instances were taking place...

 Lately, I have been watching documentaries on mountaineering.  There is something quite exhilarating about watching folks claiming huge mountains and rock faces, sometimes without ropes and gear but always with a belief in what they can achieve.  For the record, this fascination is in NO WAY a segue into a new hobby or pursuit - I simply admire the skill, determination, and beauty of the sport.  The more documentaries and interviews I watch, the more parallels I find between rock climbing and life in general.  The following observations stood out the most to me as I reflected on these similarities. 1. Being present is key.   Yes, this may be a no-brainer but I felt that it was important to mention.  I have yet to see any of the climbers in these documentaries attempting to multi-task as they scale a rock face.  Instead, they are present, in the moment, exuding a sense of calm and control as if they are simply following a map of the route ahead of...