Not Quite Yet

So many of my reflections seem to take place during my morning runs.  This one is no different.  I was out on my morning run, getting close to the end and feeling tired. My plan had been to run to a specific side-street in order to hit the distance goal I had in mind, but as I ran towards that street I started to feel like I wasn't going to make it.  Instead I turned down a side street, which ended up bringing me to a spot where I had another chance to run to the original destination and then home.  What struck me (once I was standing in front of my house again) was that if I had not run down that first side street, I would not have made it to my goal because I was just not ready in that original moment.

How often in life do we allow ourselves to take a pause in our journey to go a different way than the one we may feel is the "right" one because we simply aren't ready to go there quite yet?  And if we don't allow for that pause, what happens instead?  Do we simply keep on pushing and trying to force an outcome or decide that we cannot achieve what we had in mind and decide to end our attempt all together?  And how do we feel as an end result of either of those options?

What would happen if instead of forcing completion or assuming that we are unable to proceed, we were able to see that perhaps this event or circumstance is unfolding at a point in our lives when we need to slow down and take a pause until we are emotionally prepared for what we are proposing, or are at a point in our lives when we can devote the time and energy required to adapt to a big change?  Could we allow ourselves that Plan B, and by doing so provide ourselves with the compassion and understanding required to make that adjustment?

Speaking from the "I", it can be really hard to accept the fact that our Plan A is not unfolding as we thought it would.  There can be deep feelings of self criticism, and these feelings can reinforce negative self-talk which ultimately makes it even harder to keep a healthy perspective on where we are and what we need.  Learning to assess and evaluate in the moment have been two skills that I continue to work on as I move forward in my journey.  I am coming to realize that there is nothing wrong with holding off on a big change or taking that deep end dive if the timing does not feel right.  It doesn't mean that it will never happen, just maybe not quite yet

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Solar Return Reflections

 As I embark on a new solar return, I am compelled to reflect on the year that is closing behind me. Exercises like these often have us remembering the big wins or struggles, the notable changes and shifts that have taken place, the happenings that are impossible to ignore. And while all of those items are important to note, savour, and pay attention to, I find myself drawn to the smaller moments in time. The almost imperceptible yet impactful catalysts that are most often responsible for growth.  What I find interesting about those tiny agitators is the amount of pain and discomfort they often create as they push us to respond. Like the grain of sand in our shoe that will cause a blister if we don't stop to remove it, ignoring these pain points only leads to longer-lasting, deeper dis-ease if not attended to. It was during a visit with a dear friend this past week that this point was driven home for me. I was describing to her a feeling of overwhelm I had been dealing with (o...
Read more

Letting Go

 This past weekend, I helped my eldest son as he prepared to take the next big step in his life's adventures.  It felt bittersweet to watch as he packed up the room in his apartment, in anticipation of setting up a new room in a new city in the near future.  I have felt proud of him over the past few months as he has navigated many unknowns and new situations with a sense of certainty and enthusiasm for what lies ahead.  Deep down, I marvelled at his ability to let go, to embrace the new opportunities being presented while letting go of the life he had been establishing over the past couple of years.  Thinking back to when I was his age, I am not sure that I would have had the ability to make these same decisions so easily.  Sure, I have had my fair share of tough choices and have navigated change as I have journeyed through life. Still, I have often felt a sense of dis-ease when it comes to letting go of what is or has been to make room for what might be....
Read more

Cheer Stations

 Yesterday, I ran my fifth full marathon, my first in two years.  The idea felt daunting at first - I hadn't forgotten how all-encompassing the training could feel, spanning sixteen weeks and requiring hundreds of kilomteters to be travelled simply to complete those last 42.2.  And yet, there I was, signing up and taking on the work. Training went well - the weeks seemed to pass more quickly than I expected them to, and despite a slightly cranky hamstring, my body and mind adapted to the workouts and didn't put up roadblocks along the way.  Getting up and getting out for those early morning runs and long weekend runs became routine, and something I looked forward to.  Especially the long runs that had me crossing the city instead of sticking to very well-worn routes from previous training blocks.  Friends started to inquire about the big day, and I noticed that many of them seemed to be more excited about the race than I was.  With it not being my firs...
Read more