You Are Here

 It struck me this past weekend, just how incredible this journey we are on can be.  Had I remained in my first marriage, we would have been celebrating 23 years of married life together.  Instead, I found myself ambling around my apartment, spending time with my youngest son, studying for a mid-term towards my BA, meeting up with a friend I met while playing hockey, and going for a motorcycle ride.  None of these things were ever on my radar, and none would be a part of my life now had I not made some difficult and necessary decisions along the way.

I started to think about those "You Are Here" maps that are posted in shopping malls and other large spaces where folks tend to get turned around and need some reminders or guidance about direction.  These guides are often quite simple and yet powerful in providing much-needed help to reestablish one's bearings in a new situation.  How appropriate, I thought, to take some time to look at our own lives and journeys from that same perspective.  Instead of focusing on the "Where You Were" aspect of life, being made of aware of where you are now, in this moment.  

So often we get stuck with a where we were point of view, perhaps comparing progress towards something or gauging the distance we have traveled against the journey of others.  This rear-view focus can often lead to disappointment or a sense of panic if we feel that we aren't measuring up to a standard that has been set or to the progress of others we are comparing ourselves against.  What if we changed the focus to simply look at where we are right now?  

What I love about the "You Are Here" map is that its only purpose is to show you where you are...that's it.  There is no mention of "And Here Is Where You SHOULD Be" or "And Here Is Where You Are Heading Towards".  Nope.  All it provides is your current bearings and an overview of the areas that surround you.  It is up to you to take that information and decide where your next steps should be.  Taking away that sense of needing to be somewhere at a certain point in time feels freeing and allows for new choices and possibilities to show themselves.   I am a planner at heart and learning to not plan everything in my life is work that I will take with me for the rest of my days.  I love the sense of feeling like I know where I am going and that I have things somewhat figured out.  What reflections like these show me is just how much I don't know and how no amount of careful planning can predict where life will lead you.  It is humbling, frustrating, and frightening at times to realize just how little we can control in life.  I am learning to lean into the sense of release that comes with letting go of the heaviness that comes with trying to plan for and control all outcomes as I pursue goals and dreams.

I wonder if we could incorporate this type of present-minded thinking or mindset into our lives more often?

Imagine taking time to sit and determine where you are at, right now, without any judgment or praise.  Simply plot your coordinates and take in the information.  Where you find yourself may be somewhere completely unexpected and unplanned and may never have been on your radar at all.  Your next steps may also be very new and not ones that you had ever thought you would take.  And perhaps it is all exactly the way it was meant to be, even if it feels otherwise.  

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