Letting Go

 This past weekend, I helped my eldest son as he prepared to take the next big step in his life's adventures.  It felt bittersweet to watch as he packed up the room in his apartment, in anticipation of setting up a new room in a new city in the near future.  I have felt proud of him over the past few months as he has navigated many unknowns and new situations with a sense of certainty and enthusiasm for what lies ahead.  Deep down, I marvelled at his ability to let go, to embrace the new opportunities being presented while letting go of the life he had been establishing over the past couple of years. 

Thinking back to when I was his age, I am not sure that I would have had the ability to make these same decisions so easily.  Sure, I have had my fair share of tough choices and have navigated change as I have journeyed through life. Still, I have often felt a sense of dis-ease when it comes to letting go of what is or has been to make room for what might be. 

Even something as simple as choosing what to take forward and what to leave behind feels hard sometimes. As I watched him earmarking items to take with him, or to have his dad and me hold onto, or put out at the curb for someone else to enjoy, I felt humbled by his ease.  And it's not that he is of a mindset where nothing has value; he gave me a collection of mementos to hold onto for him that he had been holding since childhood, some items surprising me to see again after such a long time. 

What he has been demonstrating for me over the past few months has been something I have needed to work on for some time now.  The art of gracefully letting go and of appreciating what has been, to make room for what comes next.  It is far too easy to cling to the past in the hopes of reliving it or willing it back into existence, when we truly only have the here and now to contend with. There is also a lightness that comes with letting go sometimes, as the weight of the past can be what holds us back from being able to open ourselves up to fully receive the unknown gifts of what comes next. 

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