Reframe

I managed to do several reps of a very difficult exercise yesterday.  One I find daunting, as keeping good form is so key to success.  No, it wasn't chin ups, squats or dead lifts.  It is much harder than those and much more rewarding.  This exercise won't make me look better in a pair of jeans, but will improve my posture as I will walk with my head held higher and my heart feeling lighter.
My exercise? Reframing  I reframed a situation and put a stop to the stories that I had been telling myself.
Full disclosure - I have started to dip a toe into the online dating scene.  I felt that although I do hold out hope for a happenstance meeting on the streetcar or at a coffee shop, it is likely not going to happen that way.  So I decided to try going online and see what happens.  Through that I matched with someone and so far have enjoyed a couple of really comfortable message exchanges, with an in-person meeting (yes, a DATE) in the coming days.  Last night I had hoped to hear from him, and as time passed I realized it was not likely.
Immediately I felt the wheels in my head starting to turn, creating scenarios around the why - he's out with someone else, he is online chatting with someone else, he is ghosting me....and then I put on the brakes.  I paused and reminded myself that "my hope is not his promise.  He is probably just busy and can't reach out."  And left it at that.
Suddenly I relaxed as I realized the wasted energy I had been putting towards creating all of those scenarios was really just feeding the negative self-talk machine that was about to fire up.  It would have taken my scenarios and added colour to them "why would he contact you?  He probably found someone who is (fill in the blanks here - prettier, thinner, more interesting...you know the drill)."  Instead by reframing, I put the situation into the context that probably makes the most sense regardless of the reason, and also managed to not damage my self-esteem in the process.
So even just a couple of reps felt good, and made me feel stronger.  And ready for the next time I need to do a set of those.

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