The benefits of falling down

"Sometimes you fall down, because there is something down there that you are supposed to find."

When I read that quote on LinkedIn this morning, it really resonated with me for a few reasons.

I like the idea of finding positives in times when we may focus solely on the negative or set back that is immediately in front of us.  I also like the idea of there always being lessons to learn, and things to discover no matter where we are in our lives or what we have put in front of us.

I can think of so many times when I have fallen, both literally and figuratively, and if I reflect on the outcomes of those times, I can see that there absolutely were take-aways to be had from the experience.

In the physical and literal sense, I have had my fair share of trips, slips and injuries over the years, and what led to a majority of those happening was pretty simple.  Not being present.  Either present in the immediate situation - head in one place and feet in another - or present with myself and where I was in my life.  When I had the broken glass accident at the start of the year, lack of presence would be what led to that happening.  It was a rather freak occurrence - innocently knocking over a water glass leading to the severing of a nerve in my pinky finger and surgery to try and repair the damage.  Would the glass have been knocked over had I not been preoccupied with determining if I was making the right decision about ending my marriage, where I was going to move to and what the future was going to look like?  Not sure.  What I am sure about is that "accident" made me slow down a bit as it limited my activity for a few weeks.....which then led to my hamstring strain injury.  Again, not paying attention to what I was doing, and more importantly the why behind my training resulted in my body finally saying enough was enough and basically putting a hard stop to my efforts to escape what was going on through activity.  Instead I "fell down" into a period of rest and recovery where I found myself and the hard work I needed to start on.  Had I not been forced to slow down and start to address where I was at in my life, I would not be where I am today, of that I am sure.

Emotionally, I can also think of many times and experiences where I have "fallen down" and as a result found something I needed to see or realize.  The one that resonates the most as it has been the most formative and life changing would be the act of ending my second marriage.  Making decisions like that, the ones that you know deep down in your gut are the right ones, is never easy.  Because some of the best decisions we make in life also tend to be the hardest ones to realize and accept.  Knowing that by honouring yourself and your boundaries you are going to upset and disturb the trajectory of other peoples' lives is not an easy thing to live with.  And there is also the feelings of failure, embarrassment and shame that accompany not one but two "failed marriages".  No Hallmark greeting card exists to congratulate you on this, trust me.  Having said all of that, falling down into that place where you need to sit in the grey, let doubt, fear and uncertainty bounce around your head and let loneliness sit in your heart for awhile is where the healing starts.  It is where you get a chance to examine who you are, and who you aspire to be.  And to get a clear picture on where you were and why the choice you made was so very necessary.  By finding those answers and believing in them and in yourself, you will start to see a ladder to climb to come back out of that place and move towards that new vision, with a resolve that cannot be shook, and a future that will be the one that you found inside of you.