Great question!
This morning I was getting ready for my usual Sunday long run. Doing these long runs has been something that has been in my calendar for some time now and with the Toronto Marathon coming up in May (fingers crossed) they have become more and more important. These are not something new to me as I have trained and run two other marathons and I know enough about being prepared and respecting the distance to know that these are very necessary.
Lately I have struggled with a lot of mental garbage, for lack of a better term, that I have carried with me through the first 5 - 6 kms of these runs. It feels heavy and sounds like a lot of negative self-talk and doubts that circle in my head. This baggage came along at the same time as I started to notice some pain and stiffness in my shins that would also last for the first 5 - 6 kms and as that subsided these voices of doubt and worry also faded to the background. After some detective work I came to the realization that my shoes were not the proper fit and have found new ones that seem to help. There's still a bit of pain but not as bad and I am sure it is just residual from the month or so where mileage increased in the wrong shoes.
As you can imagine, faced with the prospect of running through mental and physical discomfort has been a bit daunting to say the least. Not really something to look forward to, and as a result I have definitely found myself taking a lot of time to prepare for these runs. I am still getting out the door as per my schedule and completing them feeling good by the end, but the lead up is not fun.
This morning I was showing my youngest a new way I've learned to tie my shoes to ensure my heels are locked in and as I was showing him this fancy new technique he simply asked me "is that why it's taking you longer to get out for your run?" Boom. Busted. As I left and started off, thankfully not plagued by the usual stuff, I started to think more about his question. Such a great question as it made me really reflect and think about what has been going on.
The conclusion I came to was that my hesitation and all the negativity were caused by a lack of confidence I have been feeling in my ability to meet my goals. What really got me about this was the power that the lack of confidence had as far as being able to really make an impact on my performance and overall mindset. Taking this beyond running and into other areas of life, it made me start to think about other places where my confidence might be low and how that has been affecting my performance or how I have been showing up. What I have come away with and what I will keep in mind is simply to notice when this happens, and to try to nip the negative spiral pattern in the bud when I do notice it happening. Moments of doubt are natural and tend to crop up as we push our edges into uncharted territory. I would hate to stop pushing those edges as that is also where growth takes place. Instead I will simply be more aware and notice when these moments arise, I will welcome the doubt and then gently escort it away as I work on making those edges just a little bit broader. And I hope that this new realization and mindset will help me get out the door just a little bit quicker on these Sundays going forward.
Lately I have struggled with a lot of mental garbage, for lack of a better term, that I have carried with me through the first 5 - 6 kms of these runs. It feels heavy and sounds like a lot of negative self-talk and doubts that circle in my head. This baggage came along at the same time as I started to notice some pain and stiffness in my shins that would also last for the first 5 - 6 kms and as that subsided these voices of doubt and worry also faded to the background. After some detective work I came to the realization that my shoes were not the proper fit and have found new ones that seem to help. There's still a bit of pain but not as bad and I am sure it is just residual from the month or so where mileage increased in the wrong shoes.
As you can imagine, faced with the prospect of running through mental and physical discomfort has been a bit daunting to say the least. Not really something to look forward to, and as a result I have definitely found myself taking a lot of time to prepare for these runs. I am still getting out the door as per my schedule and completing them feeling good by the end, but the lead up is not fun.
This morning I was showing my youngest a new way I've learned to tie my shoes to ensure my heels are locked in and as I was showing him this fancy new technique he simply asked me "is that why it's taking you longer to get out for your run?" Boom. Busted. As I left and started off, thankfully not plagued by the usual stuff, I started to think more about his question. Such a great question as it made me really reflect and think about what has been going on.
The conclusion I came to was that my hesitation and all the negativity were caused by a lack of confidence I have been feeling in my ability to meet my goals. What really got me about this was the power that the lack of confidence had as far as being able to really make an impact on my performance and overall mindset. Taking this beyond running and into other areas of life, it made me start to think about other places where my confidence might be low and how that has been affecting my performance or how I have been showing up. What I have come away with and what I will keep in mind is simply to notice when this happens, and to try to nip the negative spiral pattern in the bud when I do notice it happening. Moments of doubt are natural and tend to crop up as we push our edges into uncharted territory. I would hate to stop pushing those edges as that is also where growth takes place. Instead I will simply be more aware and notice when these moments arise, I will welcome the doubt and then gently escort it away as I work on making those edges just a little bit broader. And I hope that this new realization and mindset will help me get out the door just a little bit quicker on these Sundays going forward.
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