Taking Time to Stop and Smell the Lilacs

Over the past three months I have become an avid walker.  Most days I'm able to find time to fit in at least an hour or more and during that time I listen to podcasts, audio books, music or just the sounds of the city.  My walking routes are not terribly imaginative and usually default to streets around my apartment and often down to the Beach.  I find this time to be soothing as it allows me to put a clear end to my day and to reflect on ideas or sometimes just zone out for a bit.  One thing that I've noticed this spring is how incredible the lilacs are.  They seem to be everywhere and the fragrance is gorgeous.  I have actually found myself on more than one occasion stopping to stuff my face into these blooms in an attempt to breathe in as much of their beauty as possible.  I bought a candle at a local shop that promises to fill my apartment with the scent and was contemplating taking a cutting from a bush that I spied at a local park in an attempt to have it grow roots so I could try to plant it somewhere here.  Imagine my surprise when my downstairs neighbour texted to tell me that the one mysterious bush we have growing in our backyard had just bloomed and turned out to be......a LILAC!  The irony of this was not lost on me...here I have been searching high and low for these to savor while on my walks, meanwhile there is one right here literally under my nose.  

The idea that it really reinforced for me is the activity of being on a hunt for that one thing that we are so sure will bring us joy, or will complete us or fulfill us in some way, only to discover that we actually had it the whole time already, and just hadn't taken the time to notice.  Feels like a great reminder about being present in our lives and with ourselves and about the importance of taking an honest inventory of all we have.

A secondary idea that came from this was around the search itself.  That drive we seem to have to find the person, the status or item that will once and for all bring us happiness or whatever it is that we feel we're missing.  The energy, focus and single-mindedness that often goes into that search can be exhausting, and I have often found myself almost forgetting why I'm even so caught up in it or determined for whatever outcome I have in mind.  Then there is the moment when we arrive...we find "it".  For a moment, there is a sense of elation as the quest comes to a close as we are filled with hope that this one time we have finally found what it was that we have been looking for.  Often this sense of accomplishment is quickly replaced by a sense of disappointment at the realization that even after all of our efforts we are still not there...whatever it was that the were in search of is not really what was needed after all.  

After many years of looking externally for what is missing, I have finally come to a place where I realize that what I really need to do is take inventory of what is sitting on my shelves.  Notice with appreciation what I already possess, understand how it all fits together and with those pieces in place, observe where I feel something is missing.  And not with a view to starting a new quest for a missing piece, but with an intention to grow into those spaces from the inside out.   

There are going to be times when this is much easier said than done, and in those times I am going to do my best to stop and smell the lilacs as a reminder of all that I have right under my nose.