Surge Capacity

 I thought it was just the change of seasons that was affecting me...the darker mornings, the cooler weather, no more early bike rides.  I couldn't put my finger on it, but I was definitely feeling different.  Not energized, not wanting to leave my bed, struggling to do the things that only weeks earlier had brought me joy and I had no trouble engaging in.  

And as much as all of those reasons made sense, they didn't help the fact that I was feeling like someone had taken away one of my batteries and I was functioning on half power all of a sudden.  Then I listened to the latest Unlocking Us podcast with Brene Brown and things started to make sense (as they often do after listening to Ms. Brown)

The episode was one where she was talking about what was on her mind, and one of the topics she covered was based on an article entitled "Your Surge Capacity is Depleted - It's Why You Feel Awful"  and suddenly things started to make sense.  In a nutshell, the author Tara Haelle discusses the exhaustion we are experiencing as the pandemic wears on, and for someone like me who didn't really think that she was being overly affected by COVID, it was an eyeopener (or ear opener).

The place that many of us find ourselves in currently is like being in the middle of a hurricane, the shutters are being blown off the windows and we are continuing to try and fix the glass.  For those of us with children, they have gone back to school in one way or another, we are maybe facing reentry to our workplace or are being involved in discussions around what that will eventually look like, and meanwhile we are hearing news about case numbers rising throughout our country and others.  I live not far from a hospital and when I am on my morning runs or afternoon walks I see the lineup for COVID tests snaking around the property - quite a shock the first couple of times I noticed it.  I realize that for many this is part of their workplace protocol and they likely are not sick, however it also serves as a potent reminder that the virus is still going strong and we are nowhere near the end of this.

And perhaps it is that unknowing combined with the underlying tension that seems to exist everywhere that is adding to the sense of depletion and exhaustion.  I am finding that being on the roads either in my car, or on my bike, or walking is often fraught with exasperated drivers honking and yelling, and although that happened before as well, it seems that people are just that much closer to their limit these days.  Don't get me wrong, there are still many people that I see as I am out and about who will say hi or good morning/afternoon and that brings a smile to my face, as I feel that was not as prevalent in the past.  There just seems to be a sense of overall exhaustion out there that I am noticing more and more.

Reading this article, it makes a lot of sense and what it serves as a reminder of is how important it is to find ways to recharge and refuel ourselves as we have a long ways to go yet.  When we think of how often we charge and recharge our electronics, we really need to ask ourselves when the last time was that we did something to recharge us.  And recharging can and will look different for everyone.  It could be a walk in nature, or it could be quiet time in a favourite chair at home.  A Zoom call or FaceTime with family or friends or even an old-fashioned phone call.  The main thing is to identify what refills your cup and then making sure you keep those ingredients on hand for when it starts to run low.  

For me, I know that connections are key for my happy mental state, along with activity and movement, so I will adjust my schedule to work with the change of seasons and will find ways to stay connected with my community while being as active as possible.  I am also going to continue to be kind to myself and listen to the cues my body and mind send me around filling my cup, as there are going to be days where recharging may simply require me to roll over and pull the covers up for another 30 minutes.