Warning Signs

 I am not a car person.  I feel that I need to be completely transparent about that fact before I relate an experience from this past week, which ended up inspiring this post. You see, I own a car but honestly wish I did not need to as I often feel like the convenience is off-set by costs and upkeep.  I have never been a person who put much thought into the kind of vehicles others owned, meaning that just because you drive a XXX car doesn't mean that I hold you in higher regard than someone driving a xxx car.  I feel much differently about my motorcycle which I do love and would happily spend money on because it brings me joy to ride it.  My car feels like more of a workhorse and gets me where I need to be, while my motorcycle gets me places that I want to be.  I digress...

Getting into my car to pick up groceries last week I noticed my battery light was on.  Seemed strange as I had never noticed that happening before and I was sure that I had replaced the battery not that long ago.  The car started okay and was running, so I put it down to just being due to sitting idle for a few days and went about my errands.  I added "look into battery light" to my list of things to do, and didn't think much about it.  After the snowfall this past week I realized that my youngest had left his boots at his dad's house, so after a run I hopped in my car to drive to pick them up before school.  Should be a quick out and back so no need to change/shower etc.  Once again I noticed the battery light was on and once again the car started okay, and I put it back on the to-do list and carried on.  Until the car stalled.  In the left hand turn lane of an intersection.  Oh crap.  Fortunately for me I had a few things on my side:

- it was early and traffic was just starting to pick up

- it was a road that had enough room for cars (and a snow plow) to get around me while I sat there

- I have a CAA membership and a tow truck arrived within 30 minutes to help me to a nearby service station

Turns out that when those warning lights come on, you really do need to pay attention to them.  (In case you were curious - my alternator was shot and not charging my battery properly, which caused the stall as there was not enough voltage getting to the engine to make it work.)

As I sat in my cold, stalled car that morning I got thinking about warning signs and warning lights and how easily we ignore them, often to our detriment.  This situation could have been a lot worse and I feel fortunate to have had this all be more of a wake up call than anything else.  It has also made me look at other areas of my life and explore some of the other warning signs I may have been ignoring lately.

I have noticed that my left eyelid is starting to twitch a bit...nothing to make a huge fuss about, but something that I haven't had happen in awhile.  The last time this happened I was under a lot of stress both professionally and personally and this went on for weeks and weeks until I was able to resolve the source of the stress and make some positive changes in my life.  Feeling this twitch come back has served as a reminder to check in with myself and my stress levels and see what is starting to push them higher.  I know with the year that 2020 has been, there are a number of stressors we are all dealing with, and I have found myself comparing my situation to those of others and downplaying my stress because it could be so much worse.  That is not a fair judgement to make and ultimately does not help or improve the situation.  Instead I am working on honouring and acknowledging the things in my life that are causing ME stress and am going to find ways that work for me to change them.  Just because they may not seem as important or impactful as what someone else may be feeling in no way means they are not justified feelings.  If they are causing a physical reaction, they are real and also need to be addressed.

I have also noticed a general sense of exhaustion some days and I feel that a lot of that is to due with overloading on screen time.  Some of this cannot be helped as so much of our jobs have needed to become virtual, and even as I write this and you read it we are adding to our screen time.  I know that this situation won't change anytime soon so I am looking for ways to connect with people off-line.  Maybe reverting back to my teenage years and talking on the phone more or video chatting.  It involved a screen but does feel like more of a conversation than texting or other electronic communication does.  I am also looking to add downtime to my days.  Yes, going off-line for periods of time to do....anything that does not require a screen in front of me.  Perhaps crafts, or listening to music, or listening to an audiobook or just sitting in my semi-dark livingroom and doing nothing at all.  Just finding ways to reconnect with me without the help of a screen.

The inspiration I gained this week felt rather timely as we move into the holiday season and although it won't be quite the same as other years, I feel like we need to be even more vigilant about watching for those warning signs and lights and paying attention to them as soon as we notice them.  Trust me, the last thing you want is to be THAT car stalled in the intersection waiting for a tow!