Notice What You Notice

 I remember the first time I heard that phrase.  It was during my yoga teacher training this summer, and we were on our mats in practice.  As we moved through flows, poses and body scans we were invited to notice what we noticed in our bodies, minds and hearts.  I remember hearing those words and waiting for the rest of the instruction to come...notice what I notice and THEN what?  Once I have noticed whatever is going on, what am I supposed to DO with that information???  I slowly began to realize that there really was no further instruction, that the entire idea of noticing what what there, in that moment was all we needed to do.

Great - more "sitting with it" stuff, my favourite I thought.  But once I was able to move past that point of needing to feel like I had to take action I understood how freeing it was to simply notice where I was at in any given moment and just be aware of it.  No judgement of it, no trying to control or change it, just be aware and let it be.  Hmmmm...seems like something that could be just as useful off the mat as it is on the mat.

For me this state of being is often quite hard to embrace.  I often fall into the pattern of being a "doer".  Someone who has lists of things to do and who, generally speaking, tackles those lists and then creates new ones.  To slow down enough to notice where I am at and then to just let that be and not try to do or change it is quite challenging.  Especially when what I notice does not feel like a positive or helpful vibe.  The past week or so has been one of these challenging times for me as I have noticed that I have been feeling off...a bit low energy, blah, flat.  It has been really hard to feel these feelings and to not immediately try to fix them.  To let them have some space and to acknowledge that they are where I have been at and that allowing them to run their course they will eventually move on.  Instead of trying to control or change things this time around I tried to listen to what these feelings were telling me.  Asking myself what I was in need of to help move to a more positive space.  Not in an attempt to control things, more from a space of nurturing and increasing self care.  I also started to share how I was feeling with others, in an attempt to normalize not always feeling great and to simply be honest.  It felt good to not put added pressure on myself to "snap out of it" or "look on the bright side" or any of those other empty sentiments and instead to just allow things to ebb and flow as they needed to.

And today is a new day and I can feel a shift in mind, body and spirit and as I notice this change in outlook and feeling I am simply going to notice it, embrace and enjoy it.  No expectations, no worrying and no agenda.

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