Holding Space

 One of the greatest acts of kindness that we can give to others is to hold space for them.  By holding space we allow the sharing of experiences, the noodling of ideas and we provide a safe place to explore, dream and perhaps even give voice to thoughts that would otherwise not be voiced.  It is an ability that we can develop through practice and awareness and is a foundational skill that allows us to fully participate in conversation with others.

How often do we show this kindness to ourselves?  When was the last time that you held space for your own thoughts, feelings and experiences?  Have you ever allowed yourself the time and space to fully explore what you notice happening in your inner world and outer world?  For many of us, the answer would be no as we are often too busy with competing priorities to provide ourselves with this same act of loving kindness.  And where would we even start?  I mean, it is hard enough to actually hold space for others while in a conversation...what would holding space look like for ourselves?

I feel like the answer to this can be, and is as unique as each one of us.  I think that if we close our eyes and give it a moment, we can call to mind a time, place or moment when we might have felt like things slowed down and we were able to notice subtle nuances of the world around us.  Perhaps the sparkle on a newly fallen snowflake, or the depth and beauty of a sunrise or sunset.  And in those moments of peace, we might have been aware of quiet thoughts or ideas or feelings coming to the surface, maybe for the first time or maybe some recurring thoughts that we hadn't paid much attention to before.  As these thoughts bubble up, what did we do with them?  Did we sit with them for a moment or two?  Did we brush them aside as we remembered what we were "supposed" to be doing instead of daydreaming?  Did we capture them on our phone or in a journal or somewhere else?  

Finding time in our days for the practice of holding space might seem extravagant and self indulgent on the surface.  There are many competing items on our running to-do lists and it may seem like giving ourselves some time out is a frill we just can't afford.  I would say that on the contrary, it is a necessity that we cannot afford to ignore.  Whether it be a simple moment, a handful of minutes or perhaps longer, I feel like this is a gift that we need to give ourselves in order to allow for some balance between doing and being, between existing and really living our lives.  I hope that you are able to find a way to give yourself this precious gift of space and time as you move through your days - in case you need to hear this YOU ARE WORTH IT.


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