What Does Love Look Like?

 On the ride home Saturday, I noticed a truck driving ahead of us.  On its tailgate was the phrase "treat yourself like someone you are in love with".  I noodled this a little bit as we continued our ride and more so when I was safely home and cleaned up.  I liked the idea of looking at how we treat ourselves and comparing it with how we treat someone we are in love with, to see where the differences lie.

I first thought about how we take care of ourselves; the food we eat, the way we treat our bodies and the expectations that we place upon ourselves.  When you think of the nourishment that you take in, how would it compare to what you would offer someone you were in love with?  Would you expect someone you were in love with to eat whatever food you had lying around?  Would you tell them to pick at something off of someone else's plate?  Would you serve a meal to someone you were in love over the sink or on the run so the two of you could get some errands done?  Or would you tell them to just skip a meal, even if they were hungry, so they could maybe lose a pound or two?  When it comes to activity, would you pressure them into doing things that they hated, telling them that it would help them to look better?  Or would you shame them into feeling bad about themselves if they were tired and needed rest instead of working out?  Would you demand that they take on responsibilities that they could not reasonably complete, simply to please other people?  Would you talk down to them and make them feel worthless if they were struggling?   Take note of your answers to the above.  Now, review this list and instead of thinking about someone you were in love with, think about yourself.  How did your answers change?  And why?

I liked this idea of treating ourselves like someone we are in love with, because it is easy to consider how we treat those we do love.  I am going to go out on a limb here and generalize, and feel pretty confident in doing so.  I think that when it comes to people in our lives that we love, we tend to soften our gaze.  We tend to extend grace and kindness.   We tend to allow for needs to come before check marks on a list.  We are likely to be understanding and empathize when someone we love is having a hard time or struggling with something.  We might look them in the eye and tell them that no matter what we love them for who they are and despite the fact that we may not fully agree with or even like decisions that they have made, we will still love them.  Sure we may get frustrated and have disagreements and sharp words from time to time, but these moments are likely shadowed by the times when we are in sync and feeling enriched by their presence in our life.  

Can we find it in ourselves to turn that loving gaze towards ourselves?  To soften and open and begin to hold ourselves in the same loving arms that we extend to others?  To celebrate our perceived flaws and shortcomings as the very ingredients that make us our unique selves?  To allow ourselves to fall deeply, madly and unquestioningly in love with ourselves.