Means and Ends

 I stumbled across a LinkedIn post today that really resonated with me.  The author was sharing an experience he had with keeping commitments to himself.  He set a goal of running every day; inevitably the day came when he wasn't feeling 100% and questioned whether or not he would be able to keep his commitment.  The internal battle began about what it meant to not hold up this agreement with himself, and that was when he had a breakthrough.  He realized that the daily run was a means to a very different end - he wanted to be on the nearby beach and to put his head in the water.   His conclusion was that the act of running was less important than the experience of being in the water, so he skipped the run and indulged in what he was being called towards.

As I read his post, I couldn't help but not my head as I have lived that experience more than once in my life. The biggest difference being that I haven't always been able to get to the place where I am able to separate the commitment I am trying to uphold and the real reason behind the commitment.  I am often so focused on the means that I forget what the actual end result I desire is.  I will admit that I can (and do) fall victim to binary thinking when it comes to goal setting and achievement.  I find that I will set very specific goals and determine the one path that I need to follow in order to reach them, and then that is it.  It is like I have set one path in my internal GPS and no matter what I am going to follow that path.  I am not sure if it is fear, determination or pure stubbornness that leads me to that way of being.  Whatever the case, I will put my head down and just keep pushing, assuming that all forward motion is good forward motion regardless of what my body or mind may be trying to tell me otherwise.

This post really opened my thinking up to looking at my end goal or desire and then allowing myself to being open to many paths that may lead me there.  I also liked the thought of being able to have more flow and less rigidity around the means to my end.  What a lovely change it would be to actually enjoy the work that went into accomplishing a goal, instead of just assuming that anything worth achieving takes a lot of effort and that means it will be hard and not be all that enjoyable along the way.  I feel like we have this mentality reinforced through often trumpeted sayings like "no pain, no gain" and "feel the fear and do it anyways".  What if we didn't need to feel pain or fear in order to reach our goals?  Would the end result still feel as sweet and worthwhile?

Sometimes I feel like we stumble across these nuggets of wisdom at the right time and I feel grateful for having seen this one today.  I love the flexibility that this way of thinking invites in and the fact that we can  achieve our dreams and enjoy the work that went into the achievement.  Ambition does not need to be a dirty word nor does it require our blood, sweat and tears all of the time.  We can be mindful and kind all while moving towards our heart's true desires. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Solar Return Reflections

 As I embark on a new solar return, I am compelled to reflect on the year that is closing behind me. Exercises like these often have us remembering the big wins or struggles, the notable changes and shifts that have taken place, the happenings that are impossible to ignore. And while all of those items are important to note, savour, and pay attention to, I find myself drawn to the smaller moments in time. The almost imperceptible yet impactful catalysts that are most often responsible for growth.  What I find interesting about those tiny agitators is the amount of pain and discomfort they often create as they push us to respond. Like the grain of sand in our shoe that will cause a blister if we don't stop to remove it, ignoring these pain points only leads to longer-lasting, deeper dis-ease if not attended to. It was during a visit with a dear friend this past week that this point was driven home for me. I was describing to her a feeling of overwhelm I had been dealing with (o...
Read more

Letting Go

 This past weekend, I helped my eldest son as he prepared to take the next big step in his life's adventures.  It felt bittersweet to watch as he packed up the room in his apartment, in anticipation of setting up a new room in a new city in the near future.  I have felt proud of him over the past few months as he has navigated many unknowns and new situations with a sense of certainty and enthusiasm for what lies ahead.  Deep down, I marvelled at his ability to let go, to embrace the new opportunities being presented while letting go of the life he had been establishing over the past couple of years.  Thinking back to when I was his age, I am not sure that I would have had the ability to make these same decisions so easily.  Sure, I have had my fair share of tough choices and have navigated change as I have journeyed through life. Still, I have often felt a sense of dis-ease when it comes to letting go of what is or has been to make room for what might be....
Read more

Cheer Stations

 Yesterday, I ran my fifth full marathon, my first in two years.  The idea felt daunting at first - I hadn't forgotten how all-encompassing the training could feel, spanning sixteen weeks and requiring hundreds of kilomteters to be travelled simply to complete those last 42.2.  And yet, there I was, signing up and taking on the work. Training went well - the weeks seemed to pass more quickly than I expected them to, and despite a slightly cranky hamstring, my body and mind adapted to the workouts and didn't put up roadblocks along the way.  Getting up and getting out for those early morning runs and long weekend runs became routine, and something I looked forward to.  Especially the long runs that had me crossing the city instead of sticking to very well-worn routes from previous training blocks.  Friends started to inquire about the big day, and I noticed that many of them seemed to be more excited about the race than I was.  With it not being my firs...
Read more