How's Your Bandwidth?

I want to start by saying that this is NOT a post about technology or trying to upsell you on internet services.  What this is about is the similarities I have noticed between energy levels and the number of silent "programs" that we may having running in the background of our lives.  Speaking personally, I have been noticing lately that there are days when my mental capacity to clearly sort through my days feels quite limited.  Like I have run out of bandwidth and have very little ability to take on anything new, never mind work on the things that I see before me.  When this happens I am often left wondering why - I can't easily identify the cause of this lack of energy or energy drain, meanwhile I am feeling it very strongly.

In my mind I see this relating to our computers and how they slow down if we keep too many tabs open on our browser.  All of these background programs are running and eating away at the computer's capacity to manage the tasks that we are putting before it, and slowly but surely things start to really slow down.  When we finally get frustrated by this lack of responsiveness (speaking from the I here) we might realize that we have too many demands and not enough bandwidth and need to prioritize and close some tabs in order to get the important stuff done.  This same experience can happen to us in our everyday lives.

When you stop and think for a minute of the many different aspects of your life that you are managing, how many tabs do you have open?  Sometimes there may not be that many and you may feel like you have the ability to stay on top of everything.  Other times it may feel like you wake up more tired than when you went to sleep, that you are constantly turning things over in your head and not really making progress on anything that you want or feel you need to.  I feel like these are the moments when we need to pause and evaluate just how many tabs we have open for ourselves.  It is not always easy to look at what we have made a focus and either remove some tasks or be very honest about our ability to take on new pursuits.  This is often where I have trouble.  I love trying new things and starting new projects and although taking on new challenges can open up incredible opportunities for growth, it also requires time and energy which are often two resources that I do not have a lot of.  

What I have been working on is realizing that saying no doesn't mean no forever, it simply means not now but maybe later.  Taking away the binary thinking of if I can't say yes immediately then it is no forever was a hard lesson for me to learn.  I have needed to accept that in order to take on something new, I need to create space for it and creating space may mean waiting for something that I am working on or through to be completed or to let go of something in my life that may of run its course.  Patience and honestly have been my tools in this work and employing both has proven difficult at times.  It is so easy to approach new adventures with an "I can do everything" mindset instead of a more realistic "I want to do everything but not everything right now".  As humbling as it is to admit being a mere mortal, it is also very satisfying to take on new pursuits knowing that you have the bandwidth available to devote the required time, energy and passion towards them to fully enjoy the fruits of your labour.


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