Giving Thanks

 As this blog posts, I will likely still be processing all that has taken place this Thanksgiving.  For those of you who are new to this space, I will have participated in both the Chicago 5k and Chicago Marathon over the weekend with my return trip home capping off what has been an incredible experience. 

It was late last year when I received the unexpected news that my name had been drawn and I had been accepted into the field of marathon runners for the 2023 race.  Entering into the lottery had been something I did without any real expectation of success.  I had tried for New York a couple of times in years past without success so didn't have raised hopes this time around either.  Well, when that email hit my inbox you could have knocked me over with a feather.  Although I was surprised and excited, I didn't quite absorb what this good fortune meant for me, and the journey that it would take me on.  I followed the same training plan that had gotten me ready for the Goodlife Toronto Marathon in May, and fortunately did not experience the same adrenal fatigue and muscle stresses that I had in the lead up to that event.  I would like to say that it was because I had simply become stronger from training more, but I know that is not entirely the case.  I think that my strength actually came from allowing myself to lean into perceived weakness.

You see, I am not the kind of person who likes to ask for help.  I have prided myself on being self-sufficient, resilient, reliable, steadfast, blah, blah, blah...basically I have used these descriptions as excuses to not allow myself to feel okay with asking for help.  Instead I have muscled through, taken the harder road, and assumed that I was fated to being one of those people who always had to work a bit harder than others to make the same strides forward.  For some reason, this time around I was able to shed that old way of thinking.  This time around I allowed myself to acknowledge when I wasn't feeling strong, when things didn't seem quite right, and most importantly I allowed myself to reach out for help.  By doing so, I feel like I opened up a whole new world.  One filled with a support circle that was willing and able to help where needed, when needed, and in ways I couldn't have imagined.  I had loving hands supporting my physical development, while nurturing souls and hearts supported my inner needs.  And that combination has been killer.  

Coming into the weekend, I had an overall sense of being complete - my training felt thorough and appropriate, my mindset felt steady, and aside from some nerves around travelling and navigating a new city on my own, I felt ready to head to the starting line.  For this alone, regardless of the race outcome I wanted to say thanks - to everyone who has been there to help me get to this place in my life.  Whether it has been words of encouragement about running or other aspects of training, or pick-me-up messages when I have not felt my best, it has all come together to bring me to this incredible moment in time.  I am writing this on the eve of my 5km so I truly have no idea how things are going to unfold over the weekend.  And I am good with that because no matter what my times are or my placing is, I know that I am coming into this in what is  probably the best overall condition I can remember.

For this I am truly grateful and I know that I will carry the memories of my journey to this weekend and the events themselves in a special place in my heart. 

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