Being a Specialist, in General Terms

 I will be the first to admit how hard it is to avoid the trap of comparison.  No matter how hard I try, time and time again I find myself ensnared in its shiny jaws, wondering how in the world I allowed myself to become trapped again.  Perhaps it is a rite of passage; as we take on new challenges and acquaint ourselves with a new community or identify with a new persona, we cannot help the urge to see where we stand.  Sometimes I feel that comparison helps me to move forward with a challenge or goal, igniting a fire in my belly and a desire to work harder.  Other times it does the complete opposite, deflating me and making me wonder why I am pushing so damn hard in the first place.  

Something I heard today made me reconsider the role comparison plays in development and how I might be able to start viewing myself moving forward.  The idea that struck me like a lightning bolt was regarding a shift in how we view ourselves and our abilities.  Being open to the idea that we are specialists in being ourselves.  There is no one else on Earth who is doing the things we are doing in the precise way that we are doing them because there is no one else who has lived the life that we have lived.  Sure this may seem like a simplistic and self-soothing way of looking at things, but I feel that there is a deeper grain of wisdom to be gleaned.  Imagine the power that we could generate by leaning into the idea that we are all specialists in being us.  The confidence that we could develop knowing that no matter how many other souls inhabit our planet, we will remain the only ones doing the things we are doing in the way that we are doing them.  Mind-blowing when you consider it.  

The other aspect of the conversation that struck me, and will not be surprising as to why, regarded the practice of sampling or being a generalist in life.  Breaking away from the mindset and groupthink that exists around needing to specialize in one field or area of development or study, for fear of losing ground or time if we experiment with many options that appeal to us.  I remember the feeling of uncertainty that surrounded my career goals when I was in high school, and those same feelings have not gone away, despite my quarter of a century-long career to date.  In fact, I think that all of this noodling about comparison and feelings of self-doubt have been drummed up as a result of my decision to make a career transition.  Looking at job postings is more than humbling, especially when you see upwards of 100+ folks who are all vying for the same opportunity.  I have found myself saving and then "unsaving" jobs without applying simply because I cannot fathom what skills I possess that would make me a unique candidate for the role.  Especially ones where I feel I am stretching outside of my comfort zone or area of perceived expertise.  I have often felt like I wasted time in my youth bumping around from job to job before landing where I find myself now, and have felt like a failure for not being more sure of what I wanted to be when I grew up.  I am starting to realize that this sampling and experimentation might be exactly what I find I need as I begin this new transitionary period.  

I love the idea of being a specialist in being me, and of being able to continue experimenting and trying out new opportunities for growth without knowing where they lead.  Do we ever really know for certain?  


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